scorpio-JustCraps

I do wish~

2012-02-01T00:10:00.001+08:00

I do wish I could go back to the times when I got no worries

I do wish, I could go back to the moment when everything was so simple

I do wish, I could just fall asleep with simple bedtime stories

Though I know, now that is nothing but impossible

And the road ahead of me are kinda dark and seems dangerous~

The guiding hands that once I used to have might not be there anymore

Often I wish I could be just a baby forever and be naive

Oh~~ how I wish if being an adult could be that simple like back then

But then now, even how I wish to cry, yet in the end my pride says that I can't

The thing about Klang

2012-01-03T20:31:00.001+08:00

Well~ A picture paints a thousand words

The day I am at The City of Merlion~

2011-11-14T02:06:00.001+08:00

It was awesome and a wonderful one~ gain a few kilos and a few spare tyre with the non-stop eating... Burps~~

Even found my 'company' there :p

The most wonderful thing :)

2011-11-04T23:57:00.001+08:00

What could be more better than this lei? :D

Happy Birthday to me~!

2011-10-31T15:11:00.001+08:00

Long time since I bought any present for myself~ thus recently a company event my evil shopaholic instinct had gotten the better of me and end up bought a BMW sling bag for myself

Muahahahaha

After coming out of study life.. is all about paying all my commitment and work~ I need some reward for myself :D

I lately do feel extremely tired on not knowing what my future should be...

Guess life goes on~ I shall continue to persevere.. A quarter of my life had went by now is the balance 3 more quarters~

Here is to more wonderful years ahead... Cheers!! ^^

The best sleeping antidote in the whole~

2011-10-26T22:02:00.001+08:00

The most awesome thing Guinness Arthur ever made~

All I wanna~

2011-10-11T09:46:00.001+08:00

I am not much of a successful person so far~ also I had not actually achieved much till now

I often dream about one day standing tall among the rest and telling people all my awesome successful story~or even be like recently past away mr stiff... Oppppppsss sorry Mr Steve Job, maybe is still not my time yet~

But soon it will... Even if it won't I will make it will... However all I wanna right now at this moment~ is a good cup of coffee or tea and a relaxing day with no worries~

Still have not change~

2011-10-06T22:28:00.001+08:00

I was browsing through some old photos on my laptop~ and then I discovered on thing.. That...

Up till now~~my stupid face have not change at all~ still that child-like look.. Not childish ok! Mind you~

Friends around me are changing in appearance but I am still... Sigh~ the cute, handsome childish look... wahahaha

Talking about narcissism... I am always at the best in doing it~ haha

I need a refreshment~where is my Guinness!

2011-10-06T14:55:00.001+08:00

With iPhone is really fun~ I can blog from wherever and whenever I like... woohoo~

Anyhow the news today is the creator of my current favorite blogging device Mr. Steve Job had passed away~ he was and will be legend~ wait for it~ dary!

Too many people are getting marry around me~

2011-10-05T19:14:00.001+08:00

Ping~

Bang~

Booooooom~

All the shell from the 'red boom' are falling upon me~

Sign that I am getting old? Or everyone around me are moving into next stage of their life?

Hell no! I am still happy with freedom~ commitment is still a big thing for a 'small but adorable' kid like me~

Cheers to all my happily ever after and soon to be happily ever after friends~

Blogging from i-Pon

2011-10-04T22:26:00.001+08:00

Well this is the test drive blogging from my i-Pon haha.. Hope this one works. The last app I downloaded was a piece of shit.. Can't post any picture at all~ damn!

Anyhow this blog are filled with tumbleweeds all around after my long time disappearance

I wish I could update everything here.. But there just too many things happenin around me~

Good food~~

Good beer and good partying~ everything is good..

Everything are great~ except from some up and down~

2011-08-21T21:53:00.002+08:00

The inner cry...

so loud...

so clear... and audible~

wishing all are not like what they are right now...

screaming for not letting the tongue to touch the foul liquid...

wishing the lung are not so tainted with tar...

wishing puff the dragon is not his friend...

the inner cry...

clearer than a crystal but yet the mind and soul would not obey...

wanting only to indulge deeper... into the darkness of the world...

perhaps is the point of no return for this soul and mind...

for they deafen themselves from the inner scream~~

The one he should not had been

2011-05-08T20:39:00.003+08:00

He never thought, he could end up this way~

once valued honesty more than anything else, now are full of deceits...

often found indulging himself in meaningless alcohol consuming and tobacco inhaling...

even the mind found that to be nothing but an act of fool...

how can he be so lost?

how he can end up this way?

right now... trying his best to be back on the way he used to be...

but then again, life are meant to be move forward... not to reminisce on the past...

I truly hope he could back from the dark path he is taking right now...

truly truly hope...

hope...

a hope... that perhaps is quite hard to see...

perhaps everything is blind for him right now~

You are right, if you think you are~

2011-03-20T18:39:00.005+08:00

You are the master of your fate...

the script of life is in your hand.. it is up to you now as to how you gonna develop the whole story...

there were times when I feel guilty of being selfish... making a decisions that could hurt others feeling or caused trouble to people...

beginning, the sense of guilts were so hard to swallow. However as time goes by... and more and more such moment occurs, somehow I gotten numb towards it...

Someone once told me, I am lack of self reflections... I don't learn much from my past yet often prefer to stay in the presents.

Is that good or not?

perhaps I wanted to know...

When I reflect back, I could 'see' all those people who had came before into my life, and eventually was left behind by me...

or maybe they choose to go for another pathway...

some were left with broken heart and~

some were left with bad memories I guess...

a few perhaps with good moments~

there is no right or wrong, no matter what you do in life... is all about the perception...

When the time comes~

2011-02-27T00:52:00.003+08:00

I used to worry only about my study...

what should I eat for lunch and the time to get up for school~

as we getting older...

I find that life is getting more and more complicated~

car loan~

study loan~

phone bill~~

credit card bill...

and many more

one by one comes into my life... finding a balance point is kinda hard sometimes...

people often said that is the facts of life...

is a sad case that as you grow older you gotta take up more responsibility~

so much for having more freedom eh?

life is short or long depending on how you use it~

it is long when you made the wrong choice... the agony of hoping that someday the haunting of the wrong decision will soon cease to be there...

it is short when you are in the perfect life... ever wonder why the sweet and fun moment has to end so fast?

the theory of relativity as proposed by A. Einstein...

eventually everything is but the state of mind...

Perhaps

2011-02-11T15:52:00.002+08:00

darkness as to light

day as to night...

wandering on the stage...

where everything could be might...

though distance in between...

yet beating the same rhythm

times are a manipulative being...

giving us the reason to hope

always be there, the two souls that are not meant...

because of time

Revival~

2010-12-12T17:19:00.003+08:00

It has been quite awhile, eversince I pen down any thoughts here...

my sincerely apology for I won't be able to update my blog

my dear reader out there... which I guess would be close to nil~

However, as a promise I would from time to time update on my daily escapade and live thoughts perhaps some of my crappy wisdom all over again.

Life has not been quite easy for me lately, perhaps that

is what I had been experiencing thus far with more downs than ups...

However so far I still surviving and you could still say enjoying my life~

there are still however certain things in my life I still tryin

g to sort out, and also perhaps fix all my past wrong and mistakes... haha

funny it seems, when I spend a quarter of my life learning and searching for some answer but right now all I get is wrong doings and mistakes which I will have to fix and perhaps carry it with me for the rest of my life~

Right now my point of view in life would be differ from before I guess...

In the path of pursuing success and happiness, am I begin

ning to lose my faith in having a simple life?

Weekdays, come I am always hectic, trying to adapt to the new environment and at the same time picking up those new knowledge as fast as possible... often I find myself tired out... and a little bit wear off.

Perhaps at the end of the day all I wanna is just a simple teapot of oolong tea that could make me relax~

Oh ya~ not forgetting X'mas is around the corner... jingle bell jingle bell... jingle all the way~

The movie acted by Arnorld Swarzh... Swatch~ god damn it~ how the hell one can even spell this fella's name!! ok.. Hasta la Vista~ I just stick with Arnie...

X'mas is always magical... time for joy everywhere... but somehow this year I don't feel any magic about it at all...

Anyhow! Wishing all my reader here... A joyful year and wonderful X'mas yo hohohoho~~

Peace out hombre~

I did not wanna things to happen this way..

2010-10-17T03:40:00.002+08:00

I had been branded as many types of person in my life...

but right now... lots of people sees me as some one whom I had never thought of I would be...

I never wanted to be in such situation...

I wish I am not...

but then again is hard to convince people...

toying with people's feeling...

playboy... etc...

I had never wanted everything to end up this way...

perhaps I did not realised all this while, everything I had been doing brings me to the situation I am in right now...

dear whoever almighty you are up there...

help me if you would...

signing out~

peace out hombre~

A deep thought~

2010-10-15T10:47:00.002+08:00

A mask he had yield for so long...

to be just a facade~

a shield~

a protection~

that to hide his vengeful, sinister and cunning behaviour...

a gentlemen he is not~ and a sore loser he is...

often he find himself lost in controlling his inner anger... at certain point he tried to unleashed it~ but he know it will do him no good...

human are deceitful...

is it wrong?

No is not... each of everyone plays a role in this world... but there are times when we are so indulge in a role that we lost track of our true self...

money....

power...

lust...

what drives you the most in your life?

If money is the one... then be prepare to be cheated.. lied... and not taken seriously by others... whether you are male/female when money are your driving force in life...

then no one would take you seriously... as they know they can buy you just as long as you got the money...

perhaps I am right now in this situation.. or at least everyone around me is in that situation...

as the more I dwell in this society...

I beginning to realised that money do buy happiness... even sometimes love...

and once my firm believe in money is not everything... somehow is flickering and gonna light off soon...

faith in humanity~ should everyone still have?

signing off...

The pair of judging eyes..

2010-09-23T12:46:00.003+08:00

Am I too self conscious?

Perhaps is true for me being a self conscious person, I often find myself wondering what people might think about me....

whether any mistakes did I made..

did I offended anyone?

being self conscious sometimes is good... but when is over then is little bit not that right...

A thing that I learned from one of my friend, is that you can never please everyone in this world... all you can do is be yourself...

People often judge before the know... well, that is the natural instinct of human...

when someone judges you, he or she might be curious about that particular person... otherwise why waste time judging that man...

Is a god's gift to human... A judging mind...

if we first met a person, we often sees the appearance... attractive? messy? neat? smart you name it...

if the first impression of a person is comfortable with us.. only then the follow up like maybe a small conversation could occur...

that is why, human always like to judge one another... everyone is guilty for that....

I a person tells you that he/she does not judge people by their appearance... then most probably that person is the who judges other the most...

Final words is we can never prevent others from judging us.. and yes sometimes we should be a little bit self conscious of ourself and not always over the cloud nine...

Just be yourself and everything will falls in place...

true story~

Enough said..

2010-09-17T16:42:00.004+08:00

I know.. this time my decision might let a lot people down...

is a risk I am willing to take...

I know I am kinda ambitious... and wanted something more out of my life...

and very adrift from myself lately...

so sorry...

truly sorry...

to those who believe in and have a great support in me... thank you...

to those who think that I should reconsider my decision... I know you are doing it for my best... thank you as well..

signing out..

2010-09-05T01:54:00.002+08:00

Past few weeks had been rough on me emotionally... lot of stuffs had occurred and made me think about my future a lot...

perhaps after seeing so many unfortunate events... I beginning to ask myself.. should I continue being like this?

at one point I beginning to think about my plan...

is this the path that I wanna..

right now perhaps I am much more clearer...

a new perspective in life...

this is not the path that I wanna all along....

Perhaps it was out of sheer curiosity that I chosen this path in the first place...

instead right now I wanted something more... something more practical... more important...

being egoistic about something is not good.. sometimes...

so long and sayonara to this old path... I am searching for a new way out...

we were never meant to be... ahaha

MERDEKA MALAYSIA!!

2010-08-28T00:50:00.004+08:00

Note: I am not much of a patriotic citizen of Malaysia.. below are just some of my point of view... is not crap.. but is my opinion on issues in Malaysia that are currently happening around me...

You all are racism!!!

Get out of here!!!...

The government is not fair!!!...

Common isn't it those phrases above?

Yes... those are just a few example of stuff we get nowadays from Malaysian...

With internet getting stronger and had become part of our life... with stuff like twitters, facebook etc.

the good and the bad stuffs about Malaysian have been circulating all around here...

one minute a politician yelled some bad stuff about certain someone the next minute some cropped, cut and edit the video and is on youtube!

things are happening fast nowadays...

perhaps Malaysia has come to the stage when the citizen are getting more and more educated and are demanding for a much more well manage country.

at least I hope it will someday be...

instead of blaming other people for these problems in Malaysia... sometimes we all should ponder...

are we ourselves doing anything good to improve Malaysia? Is posting hate video about Malaysia is a good thing?

is complaining about certain issue Malaysia over the internet with method such as nonsensical music is a good thing? There is a fine difference between voicing out our opinion and plain whining...

to me all the talking, posting video but without action to improve the country is just like "blowing water" or bullshit stuff that people would usually do in coffee shop...

Is true that there are some people who are highly educated but still brainless in Malaysia.. forgive them for they are lack of the rational mind...

We all Malaysian choose to fight for our right today... but one thing that we all had actually forget is the main reason why we fight?... what we get today will eventually goes to our children, the next generation...

Why we fought for independence in the first place? Is because we no longer wanna our fate to be decided by foreign invaders anymore...

but right now... we are more like the invader of our own country... we instill hatred among each other daily... we talk bad about each other race and sometime even to the point we play the religion card as well... and end up younger generation will follow as well...

if we are racist now... then our children will be racist as well...

if we kill each other now... then our children will also kill each other in the future...

just like how people use to say... we reap what we sow...

I believe one day we could be a better country... but then again everything happening around us right now should be change...

does not matter you are a politician...

police...

doctor...

engineer....

teacher....

or even garbage collector...

as long as we do our part... instead of pointing the finger at each other... perhaps we could finally make Malaysia a better place...

HAPPY FIRST INDEPENDENCE DAY MALAYSIA!!

Why is it first? Because I wanna me myself to remember why we all wanna the independence in the first place... when we all were so united...

It was money all along~

2010-08-26T22:25:00.002+08:00

Are you still holding on to this due to ego?

or is it due to something else?

the promise of better future perhaps?

going back to the first moment when I agree to go for this...

I remember it well...

it was...

was... all because of the money...

the so call money...

perhaps I had lost track of what I used to be passionate about in life...

it was money all along...

the one thing that had been my driving force...

Sam you one idiot and stupid son of a bitch! Stop lying to yourself and pursue what you want in life instead...

nobody can influence you...

I would rather keep it for myself sometimes...

2010-07-31T12:46:00.002+08:00

Sam.. you are emotional kinda people..

please stop being emo...

you very the emo la Sam...

yadda yadda~~ yadda....

No matter how hard I wanna deny the fact I am kinda emotional type of person... it always comes back to me...

Is true, at certain time I am pretty emotional...

a trait in scorpio? perhaps...

I guess benign those seems to be stupid and crazy exterior... I am nothing but emotional being...

often easily get distracted over some petty matters that for other might not be that serious at all...

Containing this emotional feeling nowadays is getting hard for me though...

I did not know why...

often I resolve to music blasting and once even to over indulgence of alcoholic beverages...

though it was not the best way out and often people would rather sees me spilling and pouring all those emotional feeling out...

I often will end up saying... DON'T KEPOH LA!!! as in busybody

I find it hard to let someone or anyone into the stuff I have in mind...

I am predictable most of time? That is what one of my friend told me... " I can read you just like a book".

but then again, he might be wrong... I often pretend to be the one people likes to see rather than what I wanna be...

maybe I am just a person who often needs acceptance and assurance from people around me...

pretending is hard... wearing this mask is hard...

signing out~

peace out! hombre~

take it as it comes..

2010-07-23T12:41:00.002+08:00

When you have thousand of different answers for just one question...

often you will end up with confusion...

life comes with endless possibilities that often give us all headache when we don't know what is the best outcome that we wanna...

I often find myself in such situation, perhaps maybe I often doubtful of myself...

though I always remind myself not to over think about certain question in life, but still sometimes I find myself in such situation again..

would A + B = C or beneath this equation there is the presence of random variables that might be pros, cons or even mixture of both...

of course I am not talking about science here...

science is definitely much more easier to understand than life... there is only one answer to every problem in science..

life however, different in the sense that there is no certainty... and that makes it wonderful...

as I am a science person, I tend to mix both life and science together...

but then again... that is like mixing oil with water...

we cant calculate what will happen next in our life...

we cant predict the future...

we cant postulate any theory for life...

we can only live it... and take life as it comes...

In search of perfectness...

2010-06-29T12:00:00.003+08:00

I am not perfect...

no one is as a matter of fact... yet most of us try our best to be the best... or at least somewhat perfect...

At certain points in my life, I tend to lost faith and confidence in myself... maybe is because I have doubt with my own abilities...

or even doubt of how people would see me...

At certain moments, I often needs encouragement, support and even some understanding...

I can't guarantee my decisions in life will not have any effect on people around me and myself... whether is positive or the negative...

but often, I have this question of "What if?" in my mind...

there are a lot of "What if?"s

one by one, I wanna find out...

perhaps is the best way I could do to discover myself...

When the confidence is only 50%~

2010-06-06T20:20:00.002+08:00

I am not much of a confident person...

When I am making a decision, somehow I will take ages for me to actually make up my mind...

even so, I will still have a big doubt about the choice that I had made...

Albeit that people around often think that I am a independent and confident and sometimes I am the one who is less emotional than others...

but then the truth is, I am not inside... I have doubt of my own abilities...

ability to communicate...

ability to achieve something...

ability to convey my idea to people around me...

and many more...

maybe is because I over think of something...

or maybe I am just someone who needs lot of reassurance and support from people around me...

A comfort zone perhaps?

2010-05-04T02:13:00.007+08:00

My life one year back then from now? Kinda taxing and exhausting.. with morning labwork and night journals reading...

Usually I don't have enough time, and even during weekend I find it hard for me to ease my mind...

thinking about what should I do next week...

How many stuff I need to include for my tomorrows to do lists... perhaps some of you might think that I am too fragile and can't take overload of work stress...

well I guess I am just that kind of person... too much of thinking might give my brain a big headache...

now that I am back to pursuing my future as postgraduate student, I finding myself slowly getting into a comfort zone...

is it a good thing? or a bad thing?

I am not so sure... however I kinda like it... at least I have more freedom to concentrate into one project rather than going around handling few projects not knowing what the hell I am actually doing...

till then... good luck to myself~

MLTR - you took my heart away

Back to Klang for good~

2010-05-02T21:07:00.002+08:00

Well... now that I am already back to Klang here for good...due to the reason I quit my job at UKM to pursue my Msc... I have to slowly adapt to living with parents again under one roof...

I know for some is nothing wrong... since you get to save money, save this and that besides no headache about daily meal... etc..

but then...

after living almost 4 years outside alone, somehow is kinda awkward... the most annoying part is when whatever you do somehow are being monitor by them...

your room is messy... you get nag...

your car is dirty.. you get nag...

you working desk is untidy... you get nag...

you come back late... nagging ensue...

at one point you beginning to feel that somehow living outside got more freedom... although is only just 2 days... haha xD

(I am not much of an adapter right? T_T)

anyhow I guess it takes time... at least now I beginning to see how my future will be... with a clear objective to achieve...

till then...

peace out! hombre~

Certain truth that no matter how guy explain to her, she will never believe~

2010-04-16T18:36:00.004+08:00

Ever wonder how a relationship turns bad? Even wonder how a couple got into an argument?

Well, mostly people will bound to say is the guys fault, after all... in this modern where both male and female are of the same status, somehow the privilege of women are the weaker being and every problem is always guys to blame will always be there...

okay, okay.. I am not to complain about anything... just that somehow is a fact that most of us sees today, or at least from my point of view...

A relationship turns sour when both of the parties no longer trusts each other...

yes trust is always important in every single relationship...

heterogeneous one~

homogeneous one~

bisexual one~

the fundamental requirement is always trust... I trust you, you trust me.. there we got a happy couple.. or poly-couple for bisexual friends out there...

Guy always lie... yes we do...

but then is not because we did something bad behind the back of you girls... but sometimes is, there are certain things in life that no matter how us guys explain, girls will never ever trust us...

that is why, instead of going through an argument to prove us right, we just lie to ease your heart... and lessen our headache...

what kind of situation that girl will not trust us?

well below i had lined up a few as an example...

Hanging out with friends - Yes, guys remember this, whenever you are tired of going out with your girlfriend of wife every single days in a week and you wanted to arrange maybe a happy hour drinking out with your guys friend... PLEASE!! FOR CHRIST SAKE... tell your wife/gf days earlier... or even better still months earlier... or else you gonna have a big headache if you inform them few minutes before... or worst after you done having fun.
You told them, the reasons for not calling her that much lately is due to workload - If you can't give enough attention to your partner momentarily due to workload, please! please... never ever try to ignore them... some short call, or sms would be sufficient enough to save you from a ticking time bomb explosion that will lead to saucer flying and cups throwing situation.
Handphone ran out of battery - I know for most girls, this is the lamest reason ever to give when you can't reach our phone and also is kinda cliche also to use that as an excuses but then sometimes guys will get into unlucky situation that his H/P battery is low and there is no available charger nearby.
Gal: why is there a female voice? Guy: Is the television, hun~ : If this happened, put your phone on loudspeaker and listen to her nagging... at least your hand won't feel tired, only your ear.
Guy: Here is a present I got it specially for you? Gal: How come suddenly get me a present???! - Well, you better have a good reason, if not don't give any surprise present at all, unless it is Valentines day, your anniversary, her birthday, Christmas etc.
Going out with female friend / colleague of yours for work/lunch/catchup etc. - even if she knows her personally, unless the female friend of yours is your mom/ grandmom please never pull this stunt... No matter how open minded your gf/ wife might be, you will end up with hella lot of explanations after that.
You forgot today is Valentines day/Anniversary/Her Birthday etc. - well no amount of excuses and reasons will help to mend this kind of situation, she will remember this forever as long as she is still alive. Even if she got Alzheimer, she will forget everything including her own name, but not this definitely..

Well.. above are few of the situations that no matter how you explains it to her, she will never believe or trust you...

I am sure some of you all might not agree with me, and got some opinion of your own, or even you got some more suggestion on this topic... please do let me know...

~peace out! hombre~

you will always finish last... if~

2010-04-09T22:05:00.003+08:00

You accompany her when she is lonely~

you console her whenever she is moody~

you make her laugh whenever she is sad~

the one that will always be there when the world turn the back on her~

however the result is she end belonging to the person who treats her more like a rubbish than a princess...

you can see her smile, no matter how bad that guy is treat her....

at one point you might think maybe she is into SM... but then the truth that you finally know...

no matter how good you are, how nice you are... a saviour in her eye...

you end up crying alone with no one beside you... or maybe just you and a bottle of Chivas you bought solely to ease the loneliness in you...

but then, to all those people who had felt that before...

you beginning to think no one loves you...

you take the knife up...

trying to slice the wrist to see what will happen, yet you are not brave enough...

and in the end all you could do is get drunk and wake up tomorrow with a hangover yet still could not get her out of your mind...

there is always lesson in that situation...

a lesson that eventually all guys will learn...

a lesson that explain clearly to all gals why all the guys in the world are suck a JERK!!

and why those guys that you had met in your life will only hurt you more than loving you....

is because of the sole fact that... guys had come to believe~

NICE GUY ALWAYS FINISH LAST

Moral value~ is harder to practice than to preach

2010-04-08T18:20:00.004+08:00

Since young, we had been taught to be a person with a good moral value...

treat everyone nicely...

love thy neighbour...

never be selfish...

always help those who are in need...

A training that have been given on and on by our parents, mentors, teachers and many more...

Yes, most of us when young and still naive will always listen to all those advices... and tried hard to be a better person in the future. However as we gets older, somehow all those good teachings are no longer significant.

Yes, me too was once the one who will listen to all those advices given by the elderly and parents... however now as an adult, I came to realised that all those good moral values are easier to practice back then.

And I beginning to be a selfish kinda person... that most of the time only think of myself rather than other people

Why?

Why is it that is harder to be a person with all the good moral value? We are all imperfect... is true...

is it because of daily life stress that turn us into a less selfless person?

the work requirement?

peers pressure?

the challenges faced by all of us today?

or society nowadays are slowly turning our mind into more radical...

or maybe some other factors?

I once came across a sentence that goes something like this...

"The challenge a young child face today, is to practice good moral values without actually seen one"

I guess is kinda true, elder people preached us since young about being a good person mainly not because they are the saint that they wanted us to be...

however is because they do not wanted us all to follow the same mistake that they had done before...

human improve themselves from the mistakes... to err is a human nature...

he who had never failed before are the person who did not truly enjoy his life...

It should be an easy thing~

2010-03-28T21:41:00.002+08:00

True love should be an easy thing...

when you are with the right person...

when you are at the right moment...

when you feeling for that person is true and pure...

when that person acknowledge your feeling...

even when the whole world is crumbling...

even when the life is a hectic one...

all that is no longer matter as long as you have a person that will be there for you...

because love is an easy thing~

Playing with fire~

2010-03-26T13:49:00.004+08:00

I often thought that everyone of us should already have our life figure out once we reach the age like 25 maybe~

Yup, some of us who are lucky already managed to achieve that, or maybe because they actually gives more attention in achieving success in life than others thus they could reap the reward they had planted back when they were still teenager...

I am not much of a future planner person yet some people told me~

"Sam, is not that you did not plan anything at all for the future...

just that you had planned too many path..."

at one point is kinda true also... I often likes to sit down relaxing and map out how my future would be later on in life...

my career...

my dream car...

my dream house...

and not forgetting the person whom I like to share my rest of the life with...

If I were to write out everything most probably I will bored some of you (Heck is not like what I am about to blog is gonna be short also..)

~What you had planned will never turn out to be exactly the same in the end~

A golden rule that everyone should know, and I had already used to it...

At first I thought by now after one year of graduation I should already either half way through for my master degree pursue, yet I am now with nothing and no idea of where I am going...

Therefore lately I kinda stumbled and adrift not knowing what to do with my life...

Opportunities are all around us, it is up to us to choose one of it and turn it into a miracle, albeit some of the opportunities will not give you the satisfaction you wanted but as long as we keep on trying I guess eventually we will know what is the most suitable one for us...

signing out~

I can't take it anymore!! garghhhh...

2010-03-21T00:54:00.002+08:00

I used to always thought that I could control my emotion, but somehow now I realised that I can't...instead of controlling I just keep it inside my heart...

I know the space are limited...

eventually those emotion, anger, hurt can never be contain anymore...

I wish I could find a way to release it... the work stress... the life stress... and family stress...

is not that I hate it... I know is a process of growing up, eventually you will have to face such matters...

but then when all these come all at once...

I seriously can't take it like that...

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GIVE ME A GODDAMN FUCKING BREAK LA... IF YOU THINK THIS KIND OF SITUATION IS GIVING ME A HARD TIME! THEN DON'T MAKE IT WORSE ANYMORE LA...

ALWAYS IS USE MONEY AS AN EXCUSE...

ALWAYS THOSE OLD STUFF...

GIVE ME SOMETHING NEW LA IF WANNA GIVE ME A HARD TIME...

AT LEAST I WILL HAVE SOME FUN CRACKING MY GOD DAMN BRAIN~

I AM NOT KID AND I KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING... JUST THAT YOU ARE ELDER, SO I JUST KEEP QUIET AS A SIGN OF FILIAL.... NOT RESPECT THOUGH!

Is something undefinable~

2010-03-13T00:29:00.004+08:00

People often say courtship is a hard thing...you have to play a lot of guessing game, and sometimes do stupid stuff and risk all you have just~

to get someone that you have interest with to be your love one.

To say it frankly, comparing to others this is the world most complicated game...

you have to do a lot of assumptions, a lot of guessing and sometimes even a genius fail to give the right definitions to love...

yes! Love is undefinable.. to put it into an equation, love comes with lots of variable...

from A to Z until alpha to zotta...

anything could happen... some people manage to found bliss others wounded and some choose to ignore it...

for my life so far, and from all the stories I had heard from people (yayyaya.. I am a 'kepo' fella! kenot izit! You tak suka you keluar!! xD)

anyway, after all this while I beginning to feel the L word is something that does not come whenever you try to force it...

is also not something that you can create out of nothing...

but it comes naturally... sometime momentarily and for those who are lucky... Love last for a lifetime.

Sometimes when certain things are not meant to be yours, then forcing it will just let both parties left in despair in the future...

When your love for someone is not reciprocated by him/her... no point wasting time there, just go on with your life, take it as a lesson..

something that I had took it as wisdom~

I know I suck at such stuff.. and for me to talk about it is like not convincing at all... because I had never experience anything so call 'true love'

The time for trial and error...

2010-03-07T02:22:00.002+08:00

At certain point in life, every single one of us will eventually come to the phrase of trial and error...

I find that to be true, as many people around me are beginning to enter the workforce, we often ask ourselves one question, is this our future life path?

is this the kind of job I wanna to have for the rest of my life?

is this my future career?

will I be able to earn a good life with this life plan?

is kinda confusing and sometimes very complicated stuff to explain by words...

we can never find out the right career for ourselves unless we really try every single jobs available and stick to the one we really suitable for it...

After being a so call scientist and researcher for one year I beginning to doubt my future or even the ability as a researcher.

sometimes is not because I lost the interest, but somehow one year and I still feel I am still at square one or at least square 1 and 1/2

Yet currently I had chosen to get out from this situation as I no longer wanna waste another year into something that will not benefit my future... though it might be stupid move as opinionated by someone... but who are they to judge my decision in life?

I only hope this time, is not a dead end...

keeping my finger cross all the way~

A story that always make me LOL...

2010-02-28T18:37:00.002+08:00

Especially when you really emo and super stress mode...

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it
out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to
make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."
I politely said, "This is Chris.. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing number!"
and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could
be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found
that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an ashole!" and
hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'ashole' next to it, and
put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or
had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an ashole!" It
always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'ashole' calling
would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John
Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar
with our Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and
said, "That's because you're an ashole!" and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking Spot. Some
guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently
waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot,
but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window,
so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first ashole (I had his
number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW ashole, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
He said, "Yes, it is."
I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax. It's a yellow rambler,
and the car's parked right out in front."
I asked, "What's your name?"
He said, "My name is Don Hansen,"
I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
He said, "Yes."
I said, "Don, you're an ashole!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now,
when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
Then I came up with an idea. I called ashole #1.
He said, "Hello."
I said, "You're an ashole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
He asked, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah,"
He screamed, "Stop calling me,"
I said, "Make me."
He asked, "Who are you?"
I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"
I said, "ashole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, a yellow rambler,
I have a black Bimmer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, ashole," and hung up.
Then I called ashole #2.
He said, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, ashole."
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
I said, "You'll what?"
He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass!"
I answered, "Well, ashole, here's your chance. I'm coming over
right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I
lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over
there to kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down
in Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there
just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other
in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded
by a news crew.
NOW I feel much better.
Anger management really does work.

A sore loser

2010-02-25T12:10:00.003+08:00

Nobody is perfect... but some people are perfectionist who strive to achieve perfectness in everything that they do.

A slight mistake in something might annoy them or event put their spirit off.. and eventually they gave up.

I know that maybe because I am such kind of person.

I do not take failure easily usually even a small mistake will make me lose the spirit to move on... or even indulge myself into a lengthy period of time of self blaming...

I always wanted everything to be as wonderful as it could get... maybe is wrong. To put such behaviour in a nice way, I am a person who is afraid of failure, or to say it badly... I am a sore loser!!

I know...

I know...

not many people around me told me about this though, I guess is due to my egoistic personality that do not wanna share my feeling and emotion with anyone including to those who are close to me...

I guess sometimes being too obsessed with perfection is a bad thing... you can't make everything to go according to my way, I am not the Almighty, even if I am, He too might had made some mistake that I am not willing to talk about... you know... why...

Therefore I am here to lay down a few of my bad habits so that I could get rid of it, or at least reduce the frequency of it to occur in my life...

1. When in trouble or facing a problem, I often choose to runaway from it.
2. I often make lies that eventually causes me a lot of trouble and misunderstanding from people.
3. I am not determine enough about my life path.
4. I over indulged in self blaming habits that eventually hinders me from achieving a better success..

I guess those are the thing I wanna take note, and try to change this habits as currently I feel ashamed of myself and everything that I had done before...

signing out~~

GONG XI FA CHAI 2010!!! NGAUMMMMM~~

2010-02-11T22:44:00.004+08:00

wisdom: Holding on and believing in your dream is not stupid, but don't know when to let go is definitely foolish.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I remember when I was still a small kid, I often hate Chinese New Year preparation... why?

because is very tedious and troublesome...

You need to shop for snacks...

drinks...

new stuff...

CNY products...

Clean the house...

take out and throw away all those skeletons inside the closet... yeah I often like to hide things from my parents knowledge when I was young...

thank god... they did not manage to discover it until today~ haha

Yeah... I use to hate CNY preparation... besides collecting ang pow (red packets) there is nothing fun about it...

but as you grow older, somehow CNY beginning to turn from something super lame... into super cool...

all those shopping for new clothes.... trying them out one by one inside the fitting room (some people even *cough* take pictures *cough* while trying those clothes out)

is seriously fun...

all those lousy food that I used to hate.. now somehow becomes my favourite already....

and getting a CNY holiday nowadays seems to be a blessing now that I am consider a worker...

apart from that also.. meeting up with friends... well the reason mainly because most of us already gone our separate ways... and somehow this kind of festive season is our only chance to meet up and catch up with each other about our current life...

unlike schooling time...since you already been looking at their faces 24/7 probably... so seeing them during CNY is like....

YAWNNNNNNN!!! BEH SIENZ MEH!!

hahahaha.. just kidding~

anyway I am here to wish all of my friends and family members... a happy, healthy, wonderful, blissful, harmony, generous, lucky and good year ahead!!

the year of the tiger!!!!!!!!!!! ngaum~ MY YEAR!!!
WHAT!?! stop calling people pussy la you pussy!!!... :p

GONG XI FA CHAI!!!

p/s: HAPPY VALENTINES DAY ALSO.... :p

p/ss: no I got no date yet.. not doing anything diam diam besi berkarat or sip~ sip~ according to my klang frens...

FUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!

2010-02-06T00:15:00.003+08:00

This week itself, I already got 3 occasions that I really wanna shoutout

F*CK YOU!

seriously I am in a freaking stress mode... please stop testing my patience and also stop fuckingly come here and push my button...

my line is getting thin, a single prick, imma afraid I will gonna loose it...

for those who had been listen to me complaining and making noises I am sorry for that, I already at the verge of breaking down already...

just today, after a hectic day at work, I am already kinda exhausted and also driving back home, just now already took out all my energy...

If you just wanna msn chat with me to nonsense talk with me I am fine with it, serious talk also I not that really mind

BUT DON'T FUCKINGLY EXPECT ME TO GIVE U ANY QUICK ANSWER AND MAKE ANY DECISIONS...

YOU DON'T FUCKING CONTROL MY LIFE!!!! I KNOW WHAT AM I DOING AND I KNOW WHAT I REALLY WANNA FOR MY LIFE!!

PLEASE AT LEAST RESPECT THAT...

DON'T COME CALLING ME COWARD OR ANYTHING JUST BECAUSE I DID NOT GAVE U THE REPLY THAT YOU WANNA OR SHOW YOU THE ENTHUSIASM IN YOUR SO CALL MONEY MAKING SCHEME!!!!

GARGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

PMS! yeah rite!!

2010-02-03T23:58:00.004+08:00

Yeap!.... thats the title... and this post is gonna be big ranting about how 'wonderful' my life had been lately...

btw, I don't have any depression!!! plz!! even got also would be a minor depression only! ish!!

lazy go to work,

lazy to do anything,

even have fun also lazy, lately...

err... okay.. sounds like a little bit of depression... hahhaa

seriously I don't know what had happened to me since the past few weeks... and I am pretty sure is not PMS!

I got pile of stuff on my table.. and tonnes of pdf files containing journal to read... mostly bout scientific research...

this... reaction..

that reaction....

this analysis...

that analysis.....

at one point I feel.... WTF!!! this is even more worst than my schooling time... gosh!! When will this end?!

I hate SCIENCE!!!

I hate CHEMISTRY!!!

I hate LABWORK!!!

grrrrrrrrrrrrr....................................... all those calculations.... all those equations..... all those mixing... weighing... concentrations...............

you all made me physically ill!!!!..

final word I gonna say is YOU~ wait for it~ SUCK!

signing out!~

Wisdom of the day~

2010-01-25T21:11:00.002+08:00

Being a boss is like running a cross country, the scenery always different and you won't be anticipate what is ahead of you

being an employee is like running a track race, the scenery is always the same and you will always running in a circle.

Money is definitely a factor!

2010-01-19T22:27:00.003+08:00

There was once I went for a job interview...

and I was told by the interviewer...

Those people who come to my place here to work solely for the money, will never last long...

well that job, I managed to stay for only 2 weeks.

I always wonder, why do we work? I guess mainly for everyone is to earn a living...

if there is anyone here that goes to work just because he love his job very much and even the job will not enable him to survive...

then seriously to me, you are either a psycho, or maybe you are filthy rich already if not maybe you are in love with the boss daughter.. and purposely go there to work just to court her

that is definitely a good reason for a person to stay long in a low paying job

Money is a big motivation for us all to go to work...

if not money, at least that job that I am getting will be able to benefit me in someway... like maybe a new opportunity later in life...

is a bullshit to say that, we go looking for a job, just because I wanna learn something...

and sometimes I feel that some interviewer gotta grow up a bit...

even if we said that we just wanna learn something...

is DEFINITELY A BIG FAT FREAKING LIE....

money is always the priority buddy!

It should never end this way...

2010-01-11T21:40:00.002+08:00

It was a tiresome day for me, drove back from Klang and got caught in a traffic jam...

then went to work, got lots of stuff to attend to, experiments, analysis, results.... etc etc.. really had made me exhausted...

came back then today from work with the most shocking news...

A friend whom I knew just took her own life...

I don't know much about the detail... but no matter how is not supposed to end this way...

although I am not that close to her, since been out of contact for maybe around 3 years already... but then receiving such news really makes me sad...

Anyway, I am here to wish my deepest condolence to her family...

and to all those other people out there...

when you are in your life lowest moment... please don't choose to end it!

throw away the knife...

flush down those pills into the toilet bowl...

burn away those ropes...

stay away from those rat poisons...

remember......

IT IS NOT WORTH IT!!!

Nothing's change... just the people are different...

2010-01-04T15:55:00.003+08:00

Driving down the place where I used to go to school...

brings back lot of memories... some are wonderful, some are not so happy...

I can still see everything there is still the same...

the buildings,

the corridors,

and the gate,

although some of the paint are beginning to fade... and some already got renovated...

All those past memories still remains...

I remember how me and my friends used to study together,

how we used to play around together... all those marbles, pokemon cards and etc.

ahhh.... is so good being young and innocent again...

however change is the law of life...

eventhough some of us wanted to always be young and naive but is a sad true we can never be the same...

Eventually you gotta learn to grow up and be an adult... and let go of the past...

the past is already gone.... and the future is yet to come... only today is truly belongs to us...

to think of my current life... is kinda sad with my future career still uncertain...

but then is not time to give up yet...

When we are still school students... our mission in life is kinda set.. that is to study and get good results... at least that is what every single Malaysian student have to go through...

But once you get out into the society... you future path and life is in your hand... only we can unveil and discover our own destiny...

Something that I heard from a person once... kinda have some deep meaning... but it was a wise advise...

I know I got lots of people who will give me supports, always have high hope and also forever believe in me...

though sometimes I might let you all down... but don't worry... giving up is not my way... just that sometimes I am out of steam... need some push to move on...

Cheers to all those who had been together with me all this while... family, friends, my teachers and more...

p/s: to my friend, Isaac, Han Wei and Chien Chong not forgetting my parents...... sorry for all the mess last week, and being such a drunk idiot... haha.. thanks for being there with me xD

2010 New Year Resolutions

2010-01-01T20:43:00.002+08:00

Yup... first of all.... HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!! My new year eve celebration wasn't that grand... but it was nice...

A year had past and now I am already a graduated student and currently working as a Research Assistant...

still my future path is kinda uncertain... initial plan was to be a Master student in my current uni...

I guess the plan has change... I am going after something more than just my current university... local is not enough apparently for me...

no wrong being ambitious right?

That is my current aim in life... as for where it will be... I will prefer to keep it for myself, for now...

Anyway I here wishing every single one of the reader if there is any.....

A WONDERFUL NEW YEAR AND ANOTHER BRAND NEW START... EVERY YEAR IS A BLESSING... DON'T WASTE IT.... DO SOMETHING YOU ARE PROUD OF! YEAH!!!

The story of a thirsty crow

2009-12-19T13:09:00.003+08:00

Well... it has been a while since I posted anything here... I guess my current daily life is preventing me from thinking too much nonsense and bullshit.. anyway this blog aren't dead yet, just maybe currently in a coma state.

To begin with, I would like to say, finally after so long of waiting, my rented apartment in my university here is back with its internet connection. It was a very terrible 3 weeks without the internet and somehow makes me think that.... am I an internet addict? sigh..

anyway back to the story I am to tell you all...

It is about a thirsty crow... I am sure many of us have heard before when you all were young. You know, a thirsty crow flying around looking for water, then found a bottle filled with water... etc... etc...

NO?

hmmm.... okay then..

Once upon a time (all stories begin like this okay!) there was a crow flying under the hot weather being burn dry by the hot scorching sun. He was so thirsty and he already been flying for a while now looking for any pond or river to get some water to quench his thirst..

sadly but none was avail...

When he was about to give up, suddenly he saw a shining reflection on the ground. Without delay, he straight fly to the ground there and to his relieve he finally found a coca cola bottle with water inside (why? coca cola bottle must have coke wan meh?).

He was so happy, but there was a problem. The water inside just left a little bit only and his beak was too big and short for him to reach the bottom of the bottle.

He was so frustrated at that moment, but then suddenly he had an idea...

There are a lots of pebble on the ground there... all he have to do is to filled the bottle with all those small little pebbles and then the water level will rise slowly....

And so, he did one pebble at a time.... slowly the water level rises and eventually he get to drink the water... and finally quenched his thirst.

The moral of the story is?

What I remember was, my teacher told me is never give up, just like the crow he tried hard and eventually get to drink the water...

I guess this is a very good story, especially to a person like me, who had forgotten what is the true meaning of achieving the goodness in life...

If we assume the life we have as the water inside the bottle and we as the crow, we can say that, life is not fair, sometimes you get a half filled water bottle, sometimes is even lesser... but once you try to overcome all those hardship in life, eventually you get the sweet fulfilling taste of the water inside it.

DON'T GIVE UP BEFORE YOU EVEN TRY. IS NOT MUCH DIFFERENT FROM KILLING YOURSELF. EVERYONE WANTS TO LIVE A SIMPLE LIFE, BUT DON'T YOU KNOW IN ORDER TO HAVE THAT LIFE, YOU FIRST HAVE TO TASTE A LITTLE BIT OF HARDSHIP IN LIFE?

THE END

p/s: I know is all bunch of crap.... thank you for reading xD

Life without internet

2009-11-20T20:47:00.002+08:00

Due to the fact that I have to change the name owner of my rented house internet connection, I have been unable to online for one week already and still got one more week to go till I get back my connection.

Sigh!!

Anyway, it was a seriously boring week for me, with nothing much to do after work, staring at my laptop screen idly...

I beginning to realized that internet have already become a part of my life...

without it I am nothing and lifeless...

garghhhh!!

At this point I would like to shout it out loud and say this.............

I SUCK AT LIVING MY LIFE!!!

On the other note, I beginning to realised nowadays my workload in lab is getting heavier and heavier each day...

at one point I am seriously exhausted not only physically but also mentally...

I beginning to fear that this workload will interfere with my plan of graduating for my Msc degree! Damn!

Maybe I made a wrong choice..

2009-11-05T21:40:00.002+08:00

When doing research you bound to face lot of failures...

nobody can create success overnight...

I tried... I tried... I seriously had tried again and again....

sometimes I wanna really really really shout out loud... I did not laze around doing nothing during work hour!

but when I failed to do something, how come I always feel like I am the one to be blame?

I am seriously gonna be in fatal depression if this goes on...

when people doing research they concentrate into doing one stuff and making it perfect!

but then me?

like a crazy people, first have to do this stuff, then at the same time have to run another analysis?

and then I am expected to produce a perfect result in such conditions... sigh...

now I seriously feel that I am one person doing multiple persons job...

I SERIOUSLY BEH TAHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok... I just wanna rant here only nothing big matter sorry all for wasting time reading this...

Unconditional~

2009-10-28T22:48:00.003+08:00

There is one fact in life I learn after so long...

and that is..

in this world, there is no such thing as unconditional love....

you can never love other person and expecting no returns at all, is a lie when a person say such thing, even if he/she is not lying to anyone but that person is lying to him/herself

if you wanna have or give an unconditional love to someone...

then the only thing you can do is be a parents

Top Ten signs you are wasting time in facebook during exam season (students)

2009-10-27T23:26:00.008+08:00

Okay this is just for fun... crapped by yours truly... if any one of you all are offended by this, then most probably you had done one the listed item below... xD

If still you feel unhappy after reading it, and sibeh beh song (extremely unhappy) about me, you can file your complain to your nearest thrash can, thank you xD

You login into Facebook 12-14 hour a day, but u read your school text book only half an hour a day.
You rant about how stressful your exam is in the status update everytime you flip one page of your exam's note
You post about how you gonna study hard for your tomorrow exam and reply to every single comment that people made about it.
You commented on your friend's status about their exam, asking them to study hard or 'add oil'
You click on the How is your luck today, Daily Horoscope, Fortune Cookies and etc. applications everytime you having a paper, or basically every single days during the exam month.
You post a countdown about your 'impending disastrous paper' as your status update
You do every single quiz available in Facebook
You try to psycho yourself into not login into facebook, but failed to do so
You will feel pissed off after reading this post and will try to kill me xD
The ultimate of all... When the result is out and you failed with flying colours... you blame it on Facebook.

So?

Stop facebook-ing and go studying people!! lol...

cruel yet is the fact!

2009-10-27T19:22:00.002+08:00

SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST

The loser will be left behind, a cruel fact of life...

to survive in this world we need to be fighter... we fight for our future, our right, our family, our lover, our life...

something that each and every single one of us must learn to live with...

nobody in this world wanna be a loser!

When at the end of the road or we fail at achieving something, sometimes we blame on luck, or maybe we often says

I THINK IS FATED FOR ME TO FAIL AT THIS!

I am guilty for that phrase, we are a loser if we let ourselves to be a loser

*tighten the red cloth on forehead* yosh! I will make sure I have a brighter future!

2009-10-10T16:52:00.003+08:00

I am lost....

stumped....

at the crossroad that both ways leads to destination I am seriously unsure about..

maybe dead end? or a happy ending?

should I go on with my current path? or should I stop now here and turn around back and start from scratch??

I am not much of a person who likes to shares my personal problem...

with friends,

families,

or anyone...

maybe is just me or selfish you could say, but sometimes certain things are hard to explain...

sharing of problem somehow is not my way of solving a problem...

instead most of the time when I am in such situation, I chose to run from it instead...

maybe I am a coward in facing the facts of life...

Sam, you are nothing but craps and nonsenses... you talk too much of bullshits la!

well... above are the remark I usually gets from people around me...

Please pardon my behaviour, because that is the only way I could hide my personal emotion, I am so sorry if sometimes my bullshits comes with sarcasm that might hurt people...

Is hard to change for me...

p/s: this blog is kinda dead... with less and less posting as time goes by... I am sorry also for that, but I don't have the time to update or maybe stuff to write about that often.

I am confused~

2009-09-27T14:02:00.003+08:00

There is always chances and opportunities in life...

and when the opportunities comes to you, never runaway from it, think about it thoroughly... and then follow what your heart says best...

I am not much of a risk taker in life so far...

I have never dare enough to make big changes in my life... maybe is because I am already comfortable with my current life and how everything are now...

Maybe that explain why I am hard to change my mindset into being someone much more goal oriented and be a good planner of my own brighter future....

Those around me, keep on say...

wow... Sam, now that you had already graduated and already got a job apart from that you are pursuing your Master degree...is kinda awesome and amazing...

Yup... I am suppose to feel happy and grateful for listening such comment from people...

but then how come I am not?

what is missing?

I don't feel the kick of having all those...

maybe I already lost the sense of direction of where I should go... or maybe I still don't know what I really wanted out of my life?

or maybe I am just too greedy and always discontented about my life...

Sometimes I really hope there is anyone out there that could knock some sense into my head...

Perfect one~

2009-09-21T15:22:00.007+08:00

The perfect man is gentle
And never cruel or mean.

He has a perfect smile

And is always neat and clean.

The perfect man likes kids

And will raise them by your side.

He will be a caring father,

And good husband to his bride.

The perfect man loves cooking.

He will clean and vacuum, too.

He'll do what's in his power

To show his love for you.

The perfect man is sweet,

Writing poems with your name.

He's a best friend to your mother

And will kiss away your pain.

He never makes you cry

Nor caused you hurt in any way.

To hell with this endless poem --

The perfect man is gay.

source: comedycentral

so ladies... why waiting for the perfect one lei?... there are always lots of imperfect man out there for you *cough* me *cough*.... lol

just a joke only.. it has been a while since I posted some sexist or men/women post ma hahha

of Knowledge & Wealth

2009-09-17T22:52:00.002+08:00

Knowledge?

Wealth?

two main thing that most of us always think about... perhaps only me... but still this two things have been playing around in my head ever since I graduated?

What is my purpose?

Fight to accumulate more knowledge?

or wealth?

Everyone, will always say...

I WANNA BE RICH SOMEDAY! MONEY PLEASE FALL DOWN FROM THE SKY!

I guess most of the time I prefer to have more knowledge.. but then when money nowadays is a very and extremely important thing...

and without it you practically can go for the tallest building and jump down from there...

In the end, money still triumphed over knowledge...

I am post graduate student now... but every time before a research begins...

the main question would be...

DUIT MANA?! GOT RESEARCH GRANT OR NOT? NO MONEY NO TALK...

apparently even if you choose no matter what path in life, you are bound to end up with money...

even begging also you need some starter money... if not where the hell you gonna get a nice bowl to beg lei....

Sigh...

signing of from this piece of crappy posting...

p/s: to those people who always like to complain of life is hard and wanna commit suicide. Do yourself and the world a favour please.. just go kill yourself and stop whining! You are wasting the earth space anyway...

Too much of You Suck!

2009-09-07T16:09:00.003+08:00

I am not much of a good life planner...

sometimes I feel that I am heading some where in my life path... but in other time... I am just wasting my time wandering round and round

I often felt jealous of those people who could and had already figured out what they gonna be in the future and how their life gonna turn out to be...

Maybe is because I procrastinate too much, or often prefer to have fun more than being serious with my life?

anyway...

I know a lot of people already complain about me being lame by keep on using the same picture of 'you suck!'

I know! I know is kinda lame!.. but for god sake I just could not find any other picture much more keng and gives as much kick as this one!

The baby Stevie wan.. though is cute.. but still does not have enough ... umphhhh!

Although I still got another alternative for all the you suck! pics... but still... you judge la... in the end the Bill Murray still the best right!

Alright! since there is not other picture better.. and people kinda feel bored about it already... instead of picture... why not you all just enjoy the following you suck! video....

damn!

p/s: Esther sorry.. the 6 things video.. still cracking my head... will post it up ASAP :p

I love you.. Malaysia!

2009-08-29T00:30:00.004+08:00

Is not the best country in the world...

Is not the most modern country in the world...

nor the most beautiful country in the world...

Malaysians sometimes complain about... How suck Malaysia is....

and sometimes rant about the massive traffic jam...

or the mat rempit!

or even the stupid potholes that caused you car tyre to rosak! and you have to pay the mechanic to visit...

we complain about the quality of potong zaka....

we make noise about the government...

Apalah! Stupid politician... this kind of stupid thing also you can do! small matter like this also can't settle... if la Limpeh become the menteri ar... I will make sure everyone no need to pay tax.. and no need to work.. unemployment 0%... then when people don't work that means no traffic jam!! See... begitu easy pun tak tahu... sigh

Why?

because we are all Malaysian... Malaysia boleh!

we got our own culture and heritage... in fact our country are the country with the most different races and culture mixed together...

Malay, Chinese, Indian, Punjabi, not forgetting the Iban, Kadazan... and all those bumiputera of Malaysia...

Although we don't agree on certain things... but when it comes to hang out at mamak stall

Thamby! teh tarik kasi wa satu... !! Nasi Lemak tambah ikan bilis satu...

Teh Tarik or directly translated 'Pulled Tea' (source)

We can still blow water and crap with each other! He/she might not be our brother or sister... but at least itu siaokia suka Liverpool or Dota XD!

Teacher taught us not to speak rojak language!

Apalah cikgu! Wa si Malai sia ren.. of cause la must speak rojak! In fact.. saya suka eat rojak lao si...

I love Malaysia is not because it's independence day celebration is coming soon... or some other reasons...

but I love Malaysia because I had spend the first 23 years of my life here... many ups and downs... and interesting story had happened here...

all the friends and memories... although not all nice one.. but still is good!

Malaysia is not a perfect country...

but is slowly improving.. I guess.. anyhow who cares!

as the people of Malaysia why wait for it to evolve when we are the one should be evolving...

sometimes is not Malaysia that should change... but us... if we all love Malaysia we should do our part by improving ourself!

I love you Malaysia...

Happy Independence Day Malaysia!!

Fear of outcome...

2009-08-26T18:56:00.003+08:00

Are you afraid of the outcome of something?

are you afraid of getting reply from someone or something.. like maybe you sending an applications.. all your mind could think about prior to the date of getting the reply is....

OMFG! I am soooooooooooo gonna fail >
Yes! I am... fear of outcome or results have been my Achilles heel.... in fact is my biggest weakness...

anything...

from my examination result...

some competition result...

medical test result...

err....

okay la! and also... reply from a confession... damn it!

anything~ just as long as there is an outcome involve... I will be freaking out like hell when the result time is getting close...

Even worse is before even I make any move... I tend to over think... the outcome and end up not doing anything at all

sigh...

I know, I know... Sam you suck!

but how can I overcome this fear! the result especially the bad one are often pretty scary and not forgetting.. demoralising!.... garghhhhhh!

results... are god damn scary! you will never knew what you will get in the end!!><

Have a break... Have a KIT KAT

2009-08-23T02:26:00.003+08:00

Well... had been quite a hectic week... just done with my graduation and convocation... not to mention have to attend few of friends convocation as well...

not only wallet bleed but also including my brain bleed too tired...

anyway.. now that I am officially a graduate.. I should be happy bout it XD...

just a simple update... to remove all those cobwebs and dust that have been collecting here^^

and btw... for those of you all TV addict and couch potato... you must had already watch before this commercial...

is super funny and hilarious I must say XD

I am seriously bored~

2009-08-02T00:59:00.002+08:00

Instructions for fellow sheep: You've been tagged, you have the honor of copying all these goofy questions, writing your own response, and tagging 25 other victims. You have to tag me so really you just need 24 more people. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you - but not in a creepy stalker kind of way.

1. What time did you get up this morning?
12pm... is midday d.. not morning anymore XD

2. How do you like your steak?
medium rare..

3. What was the last movie you saw at the cinema?
taking of pelham 123... awesome!!

4. What is your favorite TV show?
How I met your Mother... god damn it... sept for next season!!

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
centre of the earth gua :D

6. What did you have for breakfast?
still in my slumberland that time...

7. What is your favorite cuisine?
anything edible... huh? what? shit also edible?? u eat for me and see la !! XD

8. What foods do you dislike?
anything inedible XD

9. Favorite Place to Eat?
dunno.. some nice and cosy restaurant gua

10. Favorite dressing?
thousand island

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive?
Potong zaka

12. What are your favorite clothes?
semi formal gua.... haha

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
Germany, Korea, Japan, China... any places with four seasons XD

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
entirely full XD

15. Where would you want to retire?
winterland

16. Favorite time of day?
nite gua...

17. Where were you born?
Klang

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
I don't know..

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?
Some nothing better to people out there i guess :p

20. Person you expect to tag you back first?
ditto from 19 haha...

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?
ditto from 20

22. Bird watcher?
what bird? XD

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?
nocturnal...

24. Do you have any pets?
bird XD...

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?
this meme suck!

26. What did you want to be when you were little?
artist :p

27. What is your best childhood memory?
can't remember...

28. Are you a cat or dog person?
dog..

29. Are you married?
I quote barney stinson 'marriage.. is for stupid'

30. Always wear your seat belt?
yup..

31. Been in a car accident?
guilty... is my war mark okay XD

32. Any pet peeves?
wut?!

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings?
pepperoni yum yum...

34. Favorite Flower?
shaddup! (to those who got comment about this)

35. Favorite ice cream?
I don't know.. peppermint gua...

36. Favorite fast food restaurant?
pizza hut XD

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test?
never!

38. From whom did you get your last email?
lazy wanna check la...

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
dunno... G2000 gua XD

40. Do anything spontaneous lately?
now..

41. Like your job?
so so..

42. Broccoli?
with mushroom... plus thick starchy gravy XD

43. What was your favorite vacation?
any place with winter..

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?
my hsemates..

45. What are you listening to right now?
instrumental 'my heart will go one'...

46. What is your favorite color?
White lo...

47. How many tattoos do you have?
maybe getting one soon gua.. provided I get to find my guts XD

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz?
none!... why?! cannot izit?

49. What time did you finish this quiz?
dunno, don't care!

50. Coffee Drinker?
seldom... more to tea XD

This is a very lame weekend!!

2009-07-26T21:21:00.004+08:00

So damn farking bored!!.....

nothing to do~ wanna movie no kaki... and because... my kakiis prefer to do some 'mission' in facebook.... (no! no!.. I am not talking about CC and HW XD... lol )

then again... memang boring pun setiap weekend....

garghhhhhhhhh

so damn damn damn... farking farking farking farking bored.........................

and so damn damn farking fan!.... and frust! haiz~

no! no! is not PMS... damn ><

weekend you suck!

Zan Mai...

2009-07-25T14:45:00.002+08:00

Shoutout! - Is never an easy road.... always the rough one
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Update! update! update... yaya.. I know... I am not a hardcore blogger and blogging is definitely not what I think of doing everyday...

well mainly because I got nothing interesting to blog about... besides is the last thing I wanna do after working during weekdays.. weekend is the time for me to rejuvenate and have some fun hanging out...

sadly not this weekend though... kinda boring nothing else to do... maybe will catch a movie at the cinema after blogging this....

When to Sushi Zan Mai few weeks ago with one of my coursemate and my senior who will soon be leaving Malaysia for UK...

is kinda like a farewell and catching up dinner.... Japanese style... minus those sake and beer sigh.. haha

it was fun actually... not forgetting the foods there are delicious and fresh... yup sushi rhymes with fresh XD

When we reached there we have to queue up because there were a lot of customer in the restaurant... seriously a lot...if anyone of you all who like to go to have some nice sushi.. suggest maybe going there during weekdays instead

What is a sushi without the sushi... right?!... first stop... a big plate with assorted sushi...

Next is the sashimi... my favourite thing in Japanese food... the more raw the better XD with a bit of sake, beer etc. it will definitely be a awesome treat but too bad I was the driver that day... no alcohol of any kind ~sob

not forgetting the all those seaweed role... is the next best thing after the sashimi... a question... from which part I should start eating this role? the bottom or the top?...

could someone out there let me know?

One thing nice about Zan Mai is... every month they will have special promotion of sushi or Japanese food... which normally you wont get to find in any restaurant...

well... the special we had that day was some fried unagi... of don't know what name what name already... but it was tasty seriously...

maybe because it was fried plus with mayonese it is a bit like western food mixed with Japanese cuisine... a combo XD

and lastly... we still could not have enough of the sushi yet... a bowl of unagi bonduri (forgot d the name but from my memory it was name something like this lo.. XD)

at this point my stomach and mouth was filled with the rice and raw sashimi smell d... haha... so maybe this bowl of rice was a little bit too much...

but then the green colour bottle of spices was really great once u added it into the rice... yummy XD

As you all can see there aren't any picture with faces right?

well we were too busy with eating and chit chatting that we forgot to take any pictures together... damn chatter box la we were.. apa la!

haha... anyway that's all for the update...

till then~

peace out! hombre....

and sayonara....

p/s: my Seiko Criteria is here!! XD

The thing about sarcasm...

2009-07-19T18:55:00.004+08:00

Got this from Esther's note in FB

Sarcasm's my defense against stupid.
Objective: Are you mean and sarcastic? Have you ever answered people ‘meanly’ and sarcastically? If yes, show us how mean and sarcastic you are! If no, then you should try at least once in your life with this note.

Rule: Respond to these as sarcastic/mean as you could.
(YR stands for Your Response.)

--------------------------

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If an annoying person says:

1) I am cute
YR: yaya... so cute... just like my dog

2) I am the most beautiful/handsome
YR: when you are in zoo with the gorilla?

3) See, everyone likes me because I am rich and famous!
YR: woooooooooooooooooooo..... ha.... ha... ha.... yeah! ( really dunno how to answer to this la)

4) Unlike you, I am perfectly multi-skilled. I do everything very well from sports to academic thingy…
YR: I am so freaking jealous la... the only time I am good at something is when I am in bed

5) You don’t know me? I am a Bruneian artist; I have albums.
YR: Whats a Bruneian artist?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If an annoying pretty woman says:

1) I know you like me.
YR: ya.. even I also falls in love with myself sometimes... its ok...

2) What are you looking at? I am not interested in you!
YR: OMG?! you can talk??

3) Sorry, you are nice but seriously not my type!
YR: But why cant I date an animal??! I thought we are all living in a modern world?

4) UNLESS you are rich, don’t dream that I will get a ride with you!
YR: Damn it, that was my reason for trying to get you into my ride!

5) Look, I am pretty; I can make people hate you!
YR: Yay, I hate them too...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If an annoying extremely ugly woman/man says:

1) I think you and I can make a good couple.
YR: Suck off bitch XD

2) May I have your cell phone number? Please please please?
YR: Ass Kiews me, wa don speak Engrish XD

3) Hi, wanna hang out? I want you to be with me the whole night…
YR: hang out? you mean hanging myself?

4) What do you like about me?
YR: your sense of humour...

5) I want you to say that I am pretty/handsome and you like me sooooo much!
YR: I AM pretty and I like ME sooooo much! (okay... I can't beat this esther XD)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If your enemy says:

1) Hi bitch!
YR: yes fuckface XD

2) You smell like shit!
YR: that is why we are 'fren' asshole..

3) I know you hate me because I am much better than you!
YR: actually is because you are always behind me no matter wat! stop stalking me...

4) What an ugly creature you are!
YR: uggggg.... garggghhhhhh...eeeekkk..eeekkkkk

5) I am going to kick your ass in this race for sure!
YR: Go ahead, as long as you're still behind me. <--good one, albert! (can't beat that) -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If your annoying ex says:

1) I still love you...
YR: I love you too...

2) I know you still love me!
YR: ya I still love to see you rot in hell...

3) Please, go back with me honey/hubby…
YR: look at me, I am already bored mating to a same person for the past few years... so sorry

4) Please call me...
YR: I knew you were a hooker!

5) The break up hurt me so much…
YR: where? which part??

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If an annoying salesperson says:

1) Wow! You are so pretty/handsome!
YR: really?!

2) Seriously, I used this product and I've changed!
YR: ya.. you should.. it does not suits you anyway...

3) We are giving a discount up to 50%!
YR: 50% only??! free la aunty! why you so gu hon!!

4) This one is good sir/madam. Buy sir/madam, buy…
YR: yaya... give me one.... ( take it and then put it away in another shelf few metres away... )

The thing about scorpio..

2009-07-12T19:53:00.004+08:00

found out from Ms. Connie's blog about this application in Facebook... and actually quite interesting... so I gave it a try...

How to make Samuel Chan Hong Shen

PREP TIME 40 Min
COOK TIME 30 Min
READY IN 45 Min

INGREDIENTS

2 3/4 cups smile
1/2 teaspoon ego
1 cup friendliness

DIRECTIONS
Bake in the preheated oven for 55 to 60 minutes. Allow to cool.

haha... interesting.. there is a recipe to make me? maybe I should ask my mum and dad whether those above were the process they took to make me?

well I am sure everyone knew that *censored* thingy in making me XD

anyway... sometimes I really wonder about what people think about me?

what kind of person I am in people's eye? I am sure most of us are like that...

is that person angry with you?

is that person thinks that you are mad?

is that person like you?

well... there are many possibilities to what people might think about you... but most important is how you think about yourself I guess...

Me on the other hand.. thinks that I am not that kind of good person that some people think that I am?

maybe at first sight seeing me, people might think.. hmmm.. this guy is good, maybe a little bit kind etc..

but once they get to know me... they somehow get to see the other side of me slowly...

besides the small small stuff like I love sarcasm... enjoy making fun of people... and sometime likes to talk nonsense... and bull crap...

I am talking about big stuff...

Yes! I admit... I can be a very cruel person and a very bad person towards other... or even sometimes arrogant and egoistic...

but most bad part that I know that I have in me is that I am a very vengeful person... when people done something onto me...

that I myself feel that it is hurtful towards me... I will forever remember it, or at least is hard for me to forget...

even among my friends... I find it hard to forgive them once I get to know they had done a bad things onto me... eventhough it was just a minor thing...

is a trait that I have for as far as I could remember...

well.. people say is because I am a scorpio... hmmmm... maybe it is, maybe is not...

Decisions... who cares right!

2009-07-03T22:45:00.004+08:00

shoutout! - I am gonna make a purchase that will make my wallet bleed hard... but my heart happy about it XD
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Choices.... decisions.... opportunities....

in life we have to face with decisions and get caught in making choices...no matter how hard we try to avoid it we still have to face the reality..

no body is safe from any decision making moment...

I am sure most of you all especially my friends and people around me right now... after graduation... what am I supposed to do with my life?

working?

studying?

be a flower pot at home?

a slob?

second generation Joe?

sitting in front of PC and Facebook-ing everyday hoping that one day a stupid manager will notice your Facebook talent and make you a future facebooker star... XD

well...

no matter which one is your choice... in the end you gotta choose one.. the is no such thing as living a perfect life...

whichever you choice is... there will bound to be pros and cons to it...

usually in that kind of situation.. as I am a lazy thinker and a bad decision maker.... most of the time... haha XD

I will just go with my instinct or more to say randomly choose one and go all the way for it... keeping my finger crossed hoping that I won't screw things up later on...

haha...

that is what I usually do...

why bother with bursting your brain worrying about good or bad of the that decision... think about the option thoroughly for once and then put a fullstop to it already as fast as you can...

then eventually the future mystery will slowly unfold itself...

though sometimes mystery will end up as misery... I guess that is just a risk that a person will have to take in life...

till then.. above is a load of crap for this time after so long of collecting dusts here... haha

GoodBye Michael Jackson...

2009-06-27T20:29:00.004+08:00

A man during his lifetime...

changes the music industry of the world...

he is the icon of his fans heart...

had brought us great songs and performances...

inspired us all... and my first idol

he is none other than Michael Jackson...

The "King of Pop" of the world...

and his album Thriller is still the best selling album in the world till now...

amazed us all with his unbeatable dance move such as the moon walk and the anti-gravity lean...

he was and still my favourite idol... he was the person the makes me love the music ever since I heard his Dangerous album during my primary school time...

although he had a few problem like child molestation scandal and lots of people said that he is a pedophile.. whatsoever...

but still we believe he is a legend in our heart (thank god, Chris Crocker did not make any clip about leaving him alone... because that would be suck! definitely)

When I heard the news of his death, a tear rolled down my eye...

Michael Jackson... during your lifetime.. you inspired us all and a legendary icon for us all...

now that you're gone... you will forever be an inspiration for us all

Goodbye Michael Jackson~

p/s: his album is the only original album I have XD

Sorry guys for the lack of post...

2009-06-17T21:44:00.003+08:00

Yeap.. I know this blog is kinda dead... sorry guys for the lack of posting lately...

due to lots of stuff going on around me, thus my hands are tight right now...

I guess that is growing up, the older you get the more responsibilities you have to bear and more stuff you have to take care off...

I know... I had not been a very responsible person... yes I don't like to hold lots of responsibilities... and often choose the easy road of running away from it...

and most of the time I end up screwing up my life just by running and avoiding all those stuff that I am suppose to do...

lately I learned something...

that is...

no matter how tough are person is from the exterior.. or no matter how super strong a person portray him/herself as...

but when sometimes you are facing a difficulty in life, there are times you really wish that you could broke down and cry...

yeah!.. what is wrong with crying... I used to always say crying is gals priority...

yeap! it sucks!.. boys cry you are sissy... we shed blood but we don't shed a tear

Blue Monday!

2009-06-01T18:02:00.004+08:00

Yes!.. I officially hates Monday!.. beginning to understand why everyone so hate Monday!..

you gotta wake up early again to go to work... after sleeping late like nobody business for the weekend now is back to normal early morning alarm clock waking you up thingy....

not forgetting also.. the traffic and morning rush hour... but for me still okay because just nearby only... sigh!

I hate Monday!...

yay! don't you all just hate those slow moving traffic and jam?!

Why do we have to work, go to school, do stuff on Monday!? Why can't Monday be just like Sunday!

Monday is definitely not a day to work or go to school to study!...

can't the working rule change to first day of the week to work is Tuesday, Wednesday!... etc...

by then at least I will start hating... all those other day instead!

damn you Monday!...

Picking Up Hands Tail (Zhap Sao Mei)

2009-05-26T19:48:00.002+08:00

Responsibility? I have little I know... haha...

is very hard being a responsible person you know!! responsible to yourself and others... sigh..

but sometimes I really hate it when a person make up a big mess and end up letting another person to settle it....

or more accurately letting other people ' Zhap Sao Mei' for you...

damn it!

I am not a good person that goes around helping people taking care of their rubbish and not a water fish (In cantonese)...

I seriously need a holiday!! (>.<)

2009-05-24T21:21:00.004+08:00

Woke up this morning, feeling a little bit lazy... what the heck man is Sunday! who is not lazy on such a wonderful morning....

you know what is a perfect Sunday morning??

well for me is waking up...

with a hot chick serving good nice breakfast of ham sandwiches to me + a cup of hot aromatic coffee/tea + reading Sunday newspaper + TV watching morning cartoons ^^

how nice if that were to happen to me...

but sadly is always waking up with a big headache because of sleeping in late last night and have to make my own breakfast... etc.

anyway...nowadays I am feeling very very tired... not only physically but also mentally... weekdays have to wake up early morning to do lab work...

after work have to pack up my stuff to move to my new place and also read up notes for all my coming up instrumentation seminar which I had been procrastinating a lot about it... because is seriously a lot and reading it is killing my brain cells... sigh!

and also there is tonnes of stuff like streamyx line I need to cancel, my car installment coming up, car insurance and road tax etc... gargh!!....

not forgetting people keep on asking me why am I not in hometown...

my answer always are...

got work la! how to back...

and then reply that I will get are always...

kaw lui (flirting with girls) say la!...

At that point I really felt lazy to explain any further already... what is the point of explaining to people who don't understand what situation you are in now right?

I think after I settle all this I really need to get a good holiday!!!

I am seriously tired... right now!

p/s: another reason of me not going back to Klang lately is because my wallet is currently very tight and a little bit 'koyak' liao!

Carrot!!

2009-05-21T17:42:00.003+08:00

The world does not revolves around you...
even one day you are gone forever from this world,
it will not affect one bit at all to the human race,
Earth will still be spinning and going round the sun...
Civilisations will continue to develop...
People will be still living on...
those affected maybe only people whom are close to you...

that is one of the thing I had learned recently, I guess it is quite true... we should never think that the world belongs to you...

or too proud just maybe because people adores, look up or dote you..

and everyone should bow down or praise you like a god... instead be humble,

as a student, I should be that way... be generous with knowledge and not boasting... but sometimes when you are too happy and proud of yourself, it might causes you to be too show off of the stuff that you have...

in the end, the consequences is... you will not only make yourself a big loser but also gain disrespect from people around you...

On the other note... totally not related to above....

recently my dinner at evening are carrot, tomatoes, apples, cucumber and any vegetables that you can eat raw...

lol... this is due to the fact that, my house gas stove out of gas and I will be moving out soon from here... hence not getting another tank of it...

plus some more I am so lazy to go down and drive all the way to Kajang or nearby restaurant for food... thus those vegetables and fruit...

damn it! my laziness and lack of cooking gas are actually making me healthier... haha

actually nothing wrong eating those stuff raw... I use to do that a lot back at my home in Klang... thanks to my mom always asking me to 'kaw tim' those extra vegetables that she is not using for any dishes for the day...

so I am actually kind of addicted to biting carrot and all those cucumber.. XD

How could this happen to me!!!

2009-05-20T17:49:00.006+08:00

crappy wisdom: In order to be successful in life, you first have to learn to overcome the hardship in life
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The day started like any other normal days...

me waking up 7 early 8 early... get ready and go to lab...

prepare chemicals for my research reaction of the day... weight all of them accurately according to mass needed, volume required, concentration necessary and apparatuses the are suitable for it

supposed to be a fine day if nothing went wrong...

so I after the preparation, me proceed into mixing all of them together according to procedures etc. put it onto the heating mantle... start the temperature and stirrer and voila done...

now all I have to do is wait for few hours until the reaction is done...

suddenly out of no where I heard a crack sound... and I went to my reactor to check it out...

OMFG!.. my glass apparatus cracked and is leaking solvent... apparently I forgot to lower the temperature and it cannot withstand the high heat...

shit!.. what should I do?... so I tried to stop the reaction by switching off the main switch but before I am able to do so... the whole thing cracked more and exploded

BOOOOOOMMM!!

splashing all the chemical out...

the chemical got onto my right arm and I seriously can feel the stinging and burning sensation of the solvent and chemical... furthermore is hot...

and my lab coat got burned on the right sleeve and the whole lab went blackout due to short circuit...

went to nearest hospital and then got bandage on my arm now... is my first time being bandage! Should I be happy or sad I really don't know...

Now after back from hospital... I am writing this down with only my left hand... yeah! I can type with just only one hand.. seriously no kidding... XD

anyway the moral of above accident is....

wait for it~

IF YOU BELIEVED THOSE CRAPS ABOVE, YOU ARE DEFINITELY A FOOL!!

anyway.. besides all the kaboom! and the chemical spillage stuff... everything is about my current life... haha XD

I am stupid!

2009-05-19T17:57:00.005+08:00

how many mistakes have you made in life?

how many times you think back of something... and the next thing you feel is... damn! I wish I had not done that...

nobody is perfect, there are bound to be some mistakes in your life... whether is due to your own negligence or maybe is because some external factors...

but how many of those mistakes, you get to learn some lesson from it?

I made mistake before... a lot!... to think of it la...

regretted a lot before also...

some due to myself like procrastinate, waste too much money and recently one, like today I made a chemical reaction using wrong reagent.. and end up destroying the whole reaction, damn!

sigh!... lousy chemist I am... haha

those due to external factors... like trusting a person too much or got cheated etc. which so far still not so serious yet la...

anyway.. that is about my research work...

recently chatted with my cousin through msn... surprisingly he told he got a girlfriend already...

damn it and she is a stewardess... and at some point I feel this bugger! how dare he go court a stewardess without asking me to tag along!! lol.. just kidding...

what? what?!

even my cousin got girlfriend liao but why am I still single... you are a loser la sam! go fuck yourself!

I know you all wanna say that to me right?

screw you guys...

I like it this way now ar?! kenot izit.... XD

nola.. nobody likes it this way... but what to do right?!

Limpeh Top Ten Favourite Love Songs

2009-05-06T18:19:00.003+08:00

Oh well.. now that my final exam is gone, and all that is left is my final year research presentation I got little bit of time to blog and also to switch on back my crappy mind again....

haha.... oh well... after all there is no such thing as switch also.. I am already a big piece of crap according to 'people' around me....

before going into the lame topic, lately feeling very tired and after days of sleepless night plus me turning nocturnal during exam, all these really makes me cranky and easily annoyed a lot... sigh.

Oh well, I don't know whether I got hurt anyone or not during those period (emotionally of cause). If I really did that, then..... all I have to say is...

PADAN MUKA!!!!! XD.......

Just kidding.... anyway, paiseh lo... haha :p

Anyway back to the title, you know you all couple out there or those fools out there that wanna impress your 'target' with songs and also to show off your god damn 'geng' singing skill... but don't know what to sing?

or you maybe wanna make a mix CD for her...

or just wanna listen to, just to get you in the mood for love...

Well, if you all really at wits end... here are some suggestions of song for you to serenade to your girl

by the way most of them are old songs. Why? Because somehow I feel old songs are more romantic than those new songs nowadays.

note: I had link all the song to youtube video clip as well...

Crappy Sam's Top Ten Love Song

No. 10: Jason Mraz - You And I Both (why? Well, is the first song I really like when I first started listening to music, and now you all can tell how nerdy I was back then before listening to music and don't know much about music and songs out there.. haha. Besides, if you wanna impress her, all you need to sing this song is a guitar. What you waiting for then? Go get a guitar lesson la! )

No. 9: Andy Williams - Can't Take My Eyes of You (What can I say anymore right? Oldies always got the charm in it XD... What? Sam you are listening to too many old songs? Screw you la!... I like ar! Cannot izit! :p)

No. 8: Celine Dion - My Heart Will Go On (all time favourite, good song, err.. about the movie I only can remember about the 'you jump I jump' part plus.... you know la, what part... the kan cheong ship sinking scene la! like duh! what were you thinking about har! )

No. 7: Faith Hills - There You'll Be ( I don't know why, most of the songs I posted so far got something to do with movie one... haha... )

No. 6: Leann Rimes - I need you (The name says it all! I need you la! like duh! )

No. 5: Savage Garden - I Knew I Love You (If this song also needs to explain you really the mangkuk liao... Oh well, is a love song, where the lyrics inside containing lot of words describing how much you love your partner bla bla bla... and all those bullshit that supposedly can trick her into falling for you)

No. 4: Taylor Swift - Love Story (Don't ask me why, I also don't know why I like this song, I mean besides Taylor Swift is kinda cute, and her voice is sweet, plus the nowadays no matter where I go sure can get to hear this song one, so why not right? )

No. 3: Blue - You Make Me Wanna (You make me wanna love, you make me wanna fall... well srsly, even after so long I still like this song... although the MV is kinda lame, because I dunno what is gotta do with the song also but still.... I like it and No. 3 it will be)

No.2: Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love ( Yeah! is bleeding! is bleeding hard! Profusely! Tak Boleh stop liao!!... argh!... yaya you can begin to see that I lazy to give review liao)

No. 1: Alicia Keys - No One (Yeah! My forever favourite and so far she is my favourite female singer her R n' B song ngam my taste so far.. haha )

There you go, my top ten love song lists, and all the ranking and rating are done by me, so if anyone of you all feel that any of the song should deserve a better or lower ranking, you can go make your own list...

or maybe just follow MyKy usual golden words to me, Go Phuck Yourself! ... haha.. kidding... opinion are welcome but not neccessary... lol XD

next posting will be about what kind of 'sat luen' @ heartbreak @ putus cinta song you gonna sing or listen to when you... sigh

Because, I don't know what is LOVE

2009-05-03T05:10:00.003+08:00

When you say you love someone,

do you really mean it?

I don't know whether did I ever love anyone before, or have any deep feeling for anyone before...

I love you...

3 simple words, so simple but still could change a person's life drastically... for better or for worse

I never knew love,

I don't know what love is like,

don't know how it feels like,

don't know what is sacrificing for love feels like,

don't know what is like shedding a tears of love...

maybe someone out there knew the feeling to it and the meaning to it...

is it painful?

is it wonderful?

is it hurtful?

is it blissful?

is it sweet when you are inside of love?

Albert Einstein the genius who introduced the world the theory of relativity and a person that can say responsible for the atomic bomb thingy... once said

Gravitational is not responsible for people falling in love.

When it comes to feeling and love, science and knowledge will never works,

you can get blinded by love and still see so clearly,

you can be the smartest person, but a fool in love,

you can be the greatest warrior who had defeated the strongest beast, but still die in the hands of a weak maiden,

I am not a big believer of love, a long lasting love for me is an unknown zone, a love at first sight is extra terrestrial...

perhaps one day I might get to find out the true meaning and feeling of it, who knows...

and here is a song for you all out there, who don't know love like me...

enjoy

Where is my passion!

2009-05-01T00:57:00.006+08:00

Blogging blogging... haha..

I still remember the first time I step into the blogging world.. or more commonly known as blogosphere...

It was exciting, you get to read a lots of stuff about other people (not gossip, mind you!), crap about your thoughts to other people and people reading it giving their own point of view in return

seriously that time everything were still fresh and exciting, but now it seems more like yesterday already...

the flame in heart and passion is gone, I don't know

whether it has anything to do with my behaviour, ya'knaw... that warm warm chicken shit thingy....

or maybe because my blog does not have a special them but craps and more craps....

I guess the former one is more correct... because many blogger also crap but they still can maintain well so far...

I think that is how I take my life, 'warm warm chicken shit' most of the time.... doing something with lots of passion at the beginning and in the end.. poof! the spirit will be like all gone....

reason?

I got bored,

It is no longer interesting to me,

I feel disappointed about it, and so on....

if I were to write all of them down, people will start complaining...

I take things seriously at first most of the time, but as time goes by somehow the will to finish what I had started will not be there, just like in my study and even personal life...

that is why most of the time I tend to disappoint people around me... and in return I feel disappointed about myself.

I guess that is a new habit about me that I gotta get rid of... but I seriously don't know how to overcome it!

anyone here can help me? or just give me a little bit of motivation to work my life out....please don't come give me a punch on my face... it's too cute to be hurt by anyone apparently XD

p/s: damn it! Facebook is addictive!.. screw Facebook!

Ya! I am still alive...

2009-04-28T00:27:00.006+08:00

Well... now is down to the last paper of my final year and final semester, after this is nothing but sitting on the couch and waiting for me to graduate and become an official degree holder...

It is good to know that I only left one more paper... but it is damn bad when your last paper is like 10 days from now!

It is seriously very boring and unbearable waiting for the final moment to come...

something similar to constipating in the toilet, and you keep on forcing that shiet out of your butt but somehow it is just too stubborn would not wanna come out at all...

all maybe you the moment you are waiting your wife to give labour to your first child... outside the emergency you are praying like hell.. Oh God! when is this gonna end!

the agony...

not to mention the boredom is definitely killing you...

10 days, going out to have fun you also can't! because your mind will forever be in exam mode...

eating something nice, you thinking bout exam!

watching a movie, you thinking bout exam!

even relaxing doing nothing, you are also thinking about exam! shiet!

SERIOUSLY I CAN GO CRAZY IF THIS KEEPS GOING ON!!

Anyhow maybe exam is not my biggest problem lately... I should say money is definitely my problem currently.

yaya... since the beginning of time, Sam is never a good money manager and are more like a money spender! whenever there is money the wallet.....

swooooooooooooopp!

gone... in the next second... you are such a freaking idiot Sam...

so now in order to prevent my evil self from overspending again... I am limiting and monitoring my daily expenditures...

and make sure to calculate exactly how much money I will be needing for the next day and put the appropriate amount of money into my wallet only...

with little bit of extra for just in case...

seriously gotta cut down on unnecessary expenses... haha... lesser good food... more instant noodle... haha...

and soon my hairs gonna drop like hell! yeah!.... what a joke... money saved, lost hair!

ya~ maybe it is time to learn to cook something tosave money eh!... sigh... and good cook here willing to teach me how to cook??

yaya... I suck! I know... damn it!

money is hard to earn.. but easy to spend.... you tell me la what am I suppose to do lei!?
if only there is an easy way to make me save so money.... sigh

yaya.... if money were to be like this... I will be saying it like hell... haha XD

anyway.. that's all...

signing out~ peace out! hombre...

sibeh fan.....

2009-04-21T22:14:00.003+08:00

Yaya... now I supposed to be studying and doing my theses... but then again.. I really don't have the mood and 'semangat' (spirit) to do any of them...

anyway... just woke up from a short nap after a my cosmetic subject exam ordeal moment ago....

so dizzy and a bit headache... so here ranting it out...

GARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! screw my exam, screw the wheather, screw the internet connection, screw everything!

that's all folks.....

My dream car!!

2009-04-18T21:29:00.007+08:00

Everyone has a dream car right?

you know the type of car you gonna buy when you have the chance, especially for guy... I am sure most you guys out there will have a specific type of car....

some like sports cars...

some like luxurious cars....

some like those super keng high tech car... like James bond mya... can fly like that...

some like those weird car... three wheeled like in Mr. Bean show....

no wheel...

one wheel....

bla.. bla.. bla...

Me too have a type of car in my mind....

not some sport car, or luxurious type of car....

is....Italian Job... what car you all will think about lei? No not Charlize Theron...

While my dream car is none other than mini cooper!!.. yeah!...

why?

first of all.. I can rob the bank... no no... I mean I can beat the traffic of Klang Valley jam in Msia... no no....

because for me is the coolest thing in this world!...okay.. maybe is a little bit tiny... but then again this damn thing is super stylish....

my dream is one day when I have enough money... I will get one of those... maybe a red one!

hmmmm... or maybe a yellow one...

looked at it man! is damn cool riding inside this thing...is totally like a sports car in a cute style... haha...

okay a blue one also not bad... with some stripes on it... looks totally like a sports car.... and see that idiot in there?I will taking over his place... It will be me inside like 5 years later on...

no I am not the idiot.... damn it.. scratch that idiot away!

okay... white one la... much more keng.. and also looks very innocent type of colour hahaha....

Screw.. it I should earn enough money then get a lot of mini coopers with different colour and get nice display garage to keep them....

then whenever I free... can go inside there have a glass of red wine enjoying my dinner while looking at them XD

oh my.... that will definitely be the most wonderful dream in the world!

besides who say you can't use mini cooper to pick up chicks! You think all those chicks out there like to seat in those super keng sports car ar!!.... nehhhhhhhh... you are wrong!!

with the cutey trend is happening now.... Mini Cooper is the new picking up chicks tool!... LMAO

YOSH!! BAN ZAI!!

GOTTA GO BACK TO STUDY FOR EXAM!!! MY LAST FINAL EXAM!!! YEssssss!! NO MORE EXAM AFTER THIS!!

2009-04-17T07:52:00.004+08:00

lately really lazy to update blog.... sigh....

well one thing for sure is my life is kinda dull and boring plus some more I have to rush for my thesis, thus the lack of fun stuff to crap about even there is I am too lazy to do it...

now is 7.30am in the morning and just came back to my university here from Klang... phew! driving early in the morning was quite fun but minus the lack of sleep and constant yawning all through the way back here... (>.<")

one thing I really bored about lately is that whenever I surf the web, facebook or maybe any blog hop I made... I always get this SUSHI!

surf here... SUSHI!

surf there SUSHI!!! not again!! damn it!

I know sushi bonanza is this week and lots of people went and patronized Sushi King just to eat those miserable sushi for a freaking RM2 per plate which you can use it to buy a packet or maybe 2 packets of nasi lemak that can gives you the same amount of rice that RM20 sushi could give you!

Oh well... no la! no la... I not bo song here or frust about it....

because I also became the victim of the bonanza and got caught in the fever as well!!

yeah! yeah! sushi bonanza RM2 sushi.... wakakakkaka

and I heard next week is the East Malaysia's turn to have the bonanza... and oh well... looks like there will be more sushi bonanza posts to come eh!!.....

haha

God Damn it!!

2009-04-13T22:19:00.002+08:00

Is SUSHI KING'S SUSHI BONANZA..!!

what is the worse part about this bonanza?

is that I got no sushi king member card!!!!!!!

damn it!

KAW MENG AR!!!... ANYONE WILLING TO DONATE A CARD!!

I am not a girl!!

2009-04-10T14:01:00.004+08:00

Shoutout! - Yosh!.. white band around my forehead!... I am gonna pawn you by this weekend theses!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I guess most of you all here have a facebook account, or maybe even if you don't have also will at least had heard of it before right?

It is the new way of 'spending your leisure' time, get connected to all your friends young and old, play those lousy and lame game... that sometime takes forever to load and many more...

Well, I am also one of the few who got caught into the trend of playing and wasting time in facebook XD

me most favourite things to do in facebook?

well, I am now a quiz freak or quiz-whore... whatever you wanna brand it... still I am addicted to quizzes.. haha...

damn it!

anyway.. some of the quizzes are quite interesting.. and also there are some also sibeh boring wan... nevertheless doing quiz is fun still haha...

unpredictable and stupid result you sometimes might get from it...

just like one of mine below...

Stupid quiz!.. said I am 90% gal!... which part of me looks like a gal!... deng XD

WTF! yaya.. I am a gal.. and everyone somehow will only notice this quiz only despite all those other lame quizzes that I have took before.

Out of hundreds of quizzes I did... and YOU ALL ONLY NOTICE THIS QUIZ ONLY! DAMN IT!

So insensitive la you all! XD

sigh!... now that I also blog about it.. most probably also will get flame here... oh well.. I like getting lots of attention also right.. who doesn't right?

Yeah everybody! I am an Attention-whore!!

anyway.. thanx to it, now I am officially branded as gal among my friends and also got nicknames as well...

you all can start calling me...

Sammy ka....

or

Samantha... whatever right!

but I still prefer Samantha... haha Samantha Chan... what a nice name for my daughter

~signing out & peace out, hombre!~

samantha out! XD

2009-04-06T17:41:00.000+08:00

Shoutout! - Eventhough I not so fussy about things.. but there are still certain stuff I am very particular about one in my life...

Hey! Sam!.. you very the uncle la...

well... above is what I got from most of the people around me sometimes.... I asked them about the reason for me being branded as ’uncle’ ...

and I got is...

I like to gives people advice this and that.. and also prefer to enjoy those uncle-ly.. stuff.. like drinking tea.. Chinese green tea to be exact...

hanging out in kopitiam for me is much more better than Starbuck... well with current economy.. I guess is okay still..

then I also do not like places which are too noisy...

enjoy sitting down quietly in a garden or any place that gives me the peace and serenity....

unlike most youth people out there.. that are always on the go...

somehow I am more laid back.... and passive...

why?

you all tell me la... how am I supposed to know lei?

maybe because is already in my gene pool... or something else... or I just plain lazy....

but about the advising part... yeah! I admit when people come talk to me about their problems.. I can always crap out lots of advices...

you cannot this la, that la...

you must this la, that la...

sigh....and yes.. some even said I gives good advices... but ish... most of the time I just crap only.. haha.. I guess crapping is my talent eh...

What laugh.. laugh!.. if one day I manage to turn crapping into a profession.. don’t come kneel down infront of me and calling me ’sifu’ ar.... hahha..

Anyway...in the end.. I succeeded in crappingly advised many people about their problem.. but failed to advise myself.... about how should I run my life!...

DAMN! I am uncle...

Where is my PRIVACY!

2009-04-02T01:47:00.001+08:00

Sometimes... I really don’t get certain people....

do you even know what is the meaning of the word PRIVACY?

here is a situation for you to ponder...

There is a gathering of people in your home..

and so happens that you was not around at that time.. and you had closed your down earlier...

well, is normal right for you to close the door to your room...

when your room is close... it is a common courtesy for people to at least ask before entering...

but some people just freaking know the moral value... without asking my permission enter the room and used my laptop without my permission...

hey! is called personal laptop... does the freaking word PERSONAL means anything to you?

couldn’t you just give me a call or anything to see that whether I am okay with you using my laptop?

if not then here is some reminder for you...

Well... if anyone feel that with me here protecting my own privacy is freaking ridiculous and privacy is overrated... you can go screw yourself...

or anyone here disagree with me ranting about someone abusing my right for privacy... screw it also...

and ya.. stop reminding about me go phucking myself.. (you know who you are)

anyway chill out and adioz

peace out, hombre... and screw you S.. O!

I am impatience

2009-03-31T11:29:00.002+08:00

I am never a patient person...

I does thing sometime impulsively... without much thought on the severity of the outcome of my decision....

maybe it was my fault to made that move...

and my stupidity...

and not being able to preservere ..

for giving myself and you an empty promises...

I will never be a good person...

Earth Hour!

2009-03-28T19:31:00.000+08:00

Well.. in conjunction with the earth hour at 8.30 till 9.30 (+8 GMT) on 28th March 2009...

here is the a music video for you all

please turn off the light!...

and..

according to my additional math teacher’s theory when the lights are off... the delivery room in hospital are bound to be full in the next 9 months

so behave people! behave...

lol

Knowledge with integrity!

2009-03-26T20:41:00.001+08:00

Never assume that you know everything just by reading some books...

always know that the knowledge in this world is wide..

a person can never learn everything...

but they can become a master in something..

provided..

they have the passion...

the will...

the patience...

the heart...

to concentrate in perfecting it..

above is what I learnt today... from all those lab work I had done... I beginning to realise.. whatever knowledge that I had gotten for my undergrad year is not sufficient enough...

that is the problem of being too much a bookworm.. haha.. to all the students out there.. don’t just read those god damn gazillion pages book... knowledge is important... but knowing how to apply it is even better...

that is the sad part about Malaysia’s education, student are thought to follow and listen.. but never thought to apply and use our knowledge... thus the incompetency and unemployment...

there is still a lot more knowledge that I had need to acquire and a lot more experience I need to gain...

huh? what? You all think I am emo-ing and feeling like giving up?

mai la! you all think I got so lousy or not... lol

limpeh hard as stone what.. at least now I am doing something I like... eventhough is challenging and hard at times.. trying to figure out something... but still that is life ma...

life is tough... never take life too easy.. eventhough some of my friends always say that I have a carefree life...

but seriously my life is not all carefree.. it just that I prefer not to show it out to people...

I also have my worries...

and also my own problems... but I prefer to show a happy face than a stupid ’ bo song ’ face... because that way.. that problem seems a little bit much more easier to settle... haha

unless the problem is very big la.. then, you get my ’ bo song ’ ugly face lor....

any way... cheers..

~peace out, hombre~

I am a big failure...

2009-03-24T19:35:00.002+08:00

feeling really a big failure I am.. right now!

I had planned everything accordingly.. but somehow in the end everything will get screw up!...

I wanna run my lab work today.. but end up equipment must go haywire... I wanna run analysis today.. but turns out my samples are not suitable for it... gargh!!...

and my god damn! S..O! Surface Chemistry lecturer.. always like to give quiz during the inappropriate time...

I was a bit late for class because it was raining heavily and having a bad time to find a suitable place to park my car and also to prevent myself from getting too wet under the rain...

just late a little bit.. and end up missed his damn quiz!

uncle! raining very heavy la! furthermore your class at 8 am is not everyone’s favourite! can’t you just extend the quiz time a little bit!

gargh!!

no I am not emo-ing right now! just wanna make noise a little bit... err.. okay! okay... a little bit emotional!...

maybe I am unlucky lately.... just get to overcome my last analysis problem.. now another problem...

or maybe..

I am not discipline enough to run my own life? Have to wait for people to come to guide me?

or supervise me?

or even order me what to do next...

sometimes I really wish there is a manual book called... How To Live & Being a Human

damn it!....

even this picture also a bit cacat.. fail la you sam!

Dido - White Flag

Gotta learn how to socialise...

2009-03-21T11:09:00.001+08:00

crappy wisdom: if you treat people nicely, eventually they will treat you back nicely as well.... if not, then is their lost and your gain

Human relationship is a complex matter... many people tries to understand it, but somehow failed miserably, how to social, how to talk to another person, how to start a conversation especially is essential in building up a relationship

for me, I am not really that much social type... usually I won’t be the initiator of a conversation with another stranger, maybe is due to the fact that I think that ’ Silence is golden ’

lots of people also whenever first time they meet me thinks that I am the quiet type of person, does not like to talk alot....

but once they get to know me and I feel comfortable with them, booooom!... I suddenly from hard cold rock becomes like a dynamite and chatter box

which explains why is hard for me sometimes to keep a secret from people I am close with, and it is also easy for people whom I am close with to pry out some secret from me.. sigh

*yeah! is caturday... lol*

but then I did try to learn how to socialise with people better, no I don’t mean socialise as in friendly style among friends, what I meant was with people of higher social status ranking than me...

usually in that kind of situation, I tend to fumble a lot...

nervous?

afraid?

shy?

or everything above....

yaya.. I admit I am quite a shy person, and feel very uneasy whenever meeting new people... but somehow that is the fact of life... you won’t forever remain in your childhood friend circle

as you grow older, your circle of friends eventually grew wider... you get to know more and more people, from your workplace, business partner, soulmate, friends of your friends or friends of your soulmate... bla bla bla...

people often thinking that socialising with another person is not important often lose out in life... that is what I see so far...one of the reason The Big Guy up there created us is also to know more people and socialise! yeah... not remain in your own world..be like a frog under the coconut shell.. haha direct translation

thus in the end, improving your social skill is a must as well right?...

I guess is not that hard actually....

When socialising... all you got to do is speak from your heart

80% speaks from your heart with 20% using your brain... i guess that is the main formula for socialising... not forgetting the great red upright curve we all known as smile

p/s: so anyone here wanna be my friend and social partner?? I am a chatterbox ya’ knaw.... lol

A boring day...

2009-03-16T19:25:00.001+08:00

Okay, now at least my brain had cooldown a little.. no longer heaty.... haha...

writing thesis while fever is really not a good idea.. could not really concentrate at all.. though I there is still other distraction besides my fever.. haha...

so far got nothing really to bored about.. lately got nothing much to do... lab work slowed down a bit liao.. and then... besides running around getting my analysis done and book reading... there is nothing interesting happened to me..

except...

yesterday.. something stupid did happened to me...

here it goes,

I was still having my headache when I woke up yesterday, a little bit dizzy and ’ wan wan dan dan ’ or blur blur...

so I got into the bathroom to brush my teeth first before taking a shower...

grabbed my tube of toothpaste...

applied it on my toothbrush...

and start brushing... but something was not right when I was brushing my teeth... because my toothpaste flavour tasted a little bit funny....

unlike anything before...

no minty flavour instead got tea tree oil pulak.. and also much more oily feeling than usual...

and I have a look back at my toothpaste..

DAMN!.. I used my facial wash as my toothpaste... puik! puik! puik!

lame right???.. yeah! I know it is....

so the moral of the story... never ever, ever, ever... brush your teeth... because you might mistook your facial wash as your toothpaste.... DAMN!... haha

should blame all those facial wash and toothpaste manufacturers for making them in the almost the same type of shape!

hahahahah....

but at least now I can also get rid of the pimples inside my mouth as well eh... and my mouth tasted like tea tree oil for the rest of the day...

that’s all folks...

got to go back... ~~procrastinating~~ do my thesis..

peace out! hombre....

Being a Gentlemen is not a good idea sometimes

2009-03-13T21:58:00.001+08:00

Crappy shoutout! - Yeah... after 3 years of not having any fever... I managed to have one now... God Damn it!

Was chatting with one my friend and suddenly he asked me this....

how to reject a person whenever he/she is asking you to treat him/her... in his case is a her....

I was like.. WTF! what kind of question is this wor? Rejecting people is such a simple thing.. I got lists of ways to reject people.. if you really wanna know... haha...

but I guess.. my this friend don’t wanna hurt the other party... or maybe he trying to pretend to be a gentlemen so asking me for a polite way to reject her.... haha..

my advice is my fren.. if that ’her’ is a super hot chicks... what for need to reject... hahahaha... (what pervert?! Cannot izit! )

but he said not only belanja her.. also got some other people as well... lol... kesian him....

Well.. usually in handling this kind of stuff.... the best way is.. of cause... NO MONEY LA....

tell that particular person that your wallet is kind of tight lately... treating you to a good meal is very inconvenient for me... bla bla bla... all the ’reasons more than body fat thingy’.. (only hokkien ppl will understand the last phrase )

So hard to be a gentlemen right? have to think of so many reasons and cook out so many sentences just to reject a person.. sigh

But then I am sure that person is a understanding person one right... haha....

No cash how to belanja wor.. I sendiri wanna eat also not enough already...

but if la that fella still insists on you treating him/her and their group of people....

well... then here comes the ULTIMATE REJECTING LINE...

GO TO HELL LA!!! OWNSELF NO MONEY IS IT? JIAK SAI LA...

Well, usually I just go for the ultimate rejecting line... what for need to hurt your brain cells just to think of reasons to reject a person right... hahaha

*but is necessary sometimes..*

Everything easy only la....

2009-03-12T23:26:00.001+08:00

Crappy: Okay.. so I had decided... instead of making this blog private... I will create another... one.... haha.. but as for the link.. paiseh la...

anyway... have you ever have this situation... like for example...

you are about to face a very big exam.. like going for final year examination..

then when the time you are studying and about to give up for your exam..

you talk to those that had took that exam before.. and usually the replies you gonna get.. is

Aiseh.... kacang oni la... that exam.. limpeh close one eye and write with my nose also can get A la...

don worry... study smart enjoy the process bla bla bla.. black sheep.... this and that....

I am sure most of us had this kind of situation before.. right?

sigh... is stupid right? But what to do also right.. they can say like that is because they had already over with the exam already...

where as for us... haha... no matter what they said or talk about still got to face the hurdles and challenges.... for what lei?

of coz la, to earn the privilege of saying those words back to those other loser out there that will also take the exam again in the future...

during my UPSR... older student.. always say.. aiya objectives only easy la... then I was like hokay... memang it was easy

then my PMR, same thing again... also still easy la.. is the truth..

SPM.. senior again say.. easy la... you see I last minutes study also get 200-A1... go tuitions oni la... yeah

then STPM.... senior will again tell you this.. don’t listen to other people saying STPM is crazy la.. I one hour before exam study also still can get 5.0 err.. I mean 4.0

now.. degree.. my prof. pulak told me... degree... main main aje... senang...

walao... if everything also so easy?

Then when only things become hard?

no no.. not that kind of ’hard’ you dirty minded bastard... haha

Password-ing my blog...

2009-03-09T18:00:00.003+08:00

there are many mistakes I made in my life... that somehow I just let it come and then let it go... even sometimes when I blog about something, I also will causes some inconvenience in my life...

I admit it was my fault of letting every one of my reader here know about myself too much... till the extend that people start thinking I am a boaster that likes to brag about myself.. or short to say attention seeker...

and from many things and problem I gotten lately... somehow I think is not good letting everyone to read whatever bullshit I posted here...

letting people know about my personal self more has its downside... but isn’t that what is blog all about... your personal thoughts and things happening around you...

although having a password somehow beats the purpose of blogging.. but then.. I really like blogging out my feelings and sharing of thoughts to my reader...

but after much thoughts given, maybe it is about time.. I am thinking of making this blog no longer public... as in putting password lor...

with my own tendency of telling people about my secret in blog.... I somehow think that I should not let out everything here too much from now onwards...

So what do you all think? should I just password my blog from now onwards.. and let only those whom I really trust and close to me read only...

or continue with its current position as a blog for public eyes and everyone that blog hopping to read...

well the answer for it is quite clear right?... but I won’t be doing it so fast... maybe in few weeks time..

if anyone wanna password from me... then message me in my msn...or just email me...

and to my anonymous readers out there.. so sorry... I am sure there will much more wonderful blog out there for you all to visits...

till then..

adioz...

chiaoz...

peace out hombre!~

Alex To - Love you so much

2009-03-06T20:08:00.001+08:00

Feeling very boring right now..... and writing my thesis... sigh...

anyway.. got nothing nice to talk about...

only wanna share with you all a song only....

by Alex To...Love you so much.... for those who had watched before Pawn Shop No. 8.... should know this song... is the ending OST for the drama...

very nice drama indeed... haha. used to like it very much

till then....

signing out...

~peace out!~

2 weeks liao....

2009-03-04T20:16:00.001+08:00

2 weeks working as a chemist....

to tell you all a fact.. is not easy trying to have a professional career and becoming a professional chemist takes lot of time and endurance... many things to learn, many skill need to acquire first before you can truly master in it!

and not forgetting knowledge in whatever chemistry field you are studying... haha

tiring but learnt lot of stuff... how to run analytical equipment, how to do correct experiment etc. don’t wanna elaborate further incase I bore you all out...

a bit like mad men this few days... haha.. so sorry guys for all those madness to those whom I had neglected or made angry... try to be less emotional and calm from now on...

many lesson I wanna share here in this blog... but sometimes is hard for me to put those stuff into words...

anyway... below is just some wisdom I gotten from all this experimenting and analysis of my result...

Success or failure is not a big matter,

whenever you had successful in creating something then be humble about it,

whenever you had failed to achieve something don’t moan and cry about it, instead find out why you failed and find out how to mend the mistake...

that is why during school time, teacher usually ask us student to do correction on our mistake...

but we failed to listen including me... haha... a lazy student and now only I realised the benefits of it

anyway... maybe my coming post will be a little bit dull.... paiseh la to all my reader....

got to go back to concentrate on my reading and research... haha...

till then...

chaoz~

peace out hombre!

officially a family contributor :D

2009-03-01T21:41:00.002+08:00

So just came back from Klang not long ago... and during the weekend was trying to relax myself, enjoy the peacefulness this and that...

sad case is...

not everytime things will go your way... somehow everything you had planned will miraculously turn into something else... due to some unforeseen consequences.. haha..

then not forgetting I had told my parents that I had gotten my job

well is a pretty good news for me and also my parents...

for my parents part is they no longer need to support my expenses, my dad is glad to hear that and me too happy being one of the contributor also from now on...

as I got to pay for my car’s instalment, my own insurance etc.

oh well.. that also means that my saga darling is officially belongs to me... bwahahahhaha...

for my part is a lil’ bit of happiness with a lil’ bit of sadness as well...

first of all... I am fully independence now...

no longer FA-ther Mo-ther scholarship anymore... (that is sad.. haha )

I gotta work extra harder for this few days... maybe extra hour also.. to understand all the new reaction for my work.. until sometimes I forgotten the time and totally forget that I had missed my lunchtime... sigh

anyway.. so far this one week of training had been a very good eye opener for me.. I get to know how far I stand.. and my knowledge in chemistry how deep is it...

the conclusions.. I still got long way to go.... a lot more stuff to learn and a lot more skill to improve....

with all this workload somehow... is turning me a lil’ bit emotional these days.. and sometimes might even speak of something hurtful...if la anyone of my friend or people whom close to me.. got ’ killed ’ then I am truly sorry...

and for people whom I had neglected and so on.. I am sorry as well... because I really need all the concentration and blood in my brain... sigh...

not forgetting... my pants is beginning to loosen up this few days... don’t know whether I should be sad or happy about this though!.... gargh! dilemma, dilemma... haha

~signing out and peace out hombre! ~

of singing and future

2009-02-21T17:23:00.002+08:00

Crappy: To some smartass out there! ~ Don’t put your stupid blames on other people around you whenever your facing some shit in your life! REMEMBER... all these problem comes from your own wrong doing from the past!

There were times in life I really like to shut the door of my room and on the music till the maximum volume and sing it out loud and disregard of everything else...

I like listening to music, sing to it, no matter the time, no matter the place... it gives me relaxation and even sometimes reduce my stress... and I knew sometimes I tend to sing out also till the extends that people around me might get annoyed...

Hahaha...

Still, I can’t help it... old habit hard to change... even while typing this post, I am singing along with the song currently playing in my winamp...

maybe I am not a singer or maybe I am not a good singer..

or I might croak like a frog...

pitching a little bit out...

could not memorise the lyrics...

out of tune...

but who cares right?

I like singing out loud whenever I am in the mood... and no one could stop me for that!

Well.. if anyone of you all got an issue with that... please vent it into the nearest thrash can.. because my ’ Biro Pengaduan Awam ’ is still under construction... and most probably might be completed in maybe 1 millenniums time

Singing reduces stress... singing out loud can helps to improve you mood... I am sure most of you all will agree with me.. and even some of you all are ’ guilty for singing out loud ’ like me above

and speaking of singing... here you go! let us all sing! Jenny - The Click Five

Jenny - The Click Five

Well... last Friday just got a great news...

(editted due to some bla bla bla... )

I will be going on now with my 1st plan of furthering my study into master and even into Ph.D as well... hoping for all the best now! haha...

I hope it will be...

Legen~wait for it~ Dary...